“May my spoken words and unspoken thoughts be pleasing even to You, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.”

Psalm 19:14

Raising our sons in a parsonage, we realized early that they just might hear things we would rather they didn’t. We always worked to assure that they didn’t know the “bad” or the “ugly” parts of being a pastor. However, our houses were small, our sons were intuitive, they had big ears, and they often knew things we had no desire for them to know. Our challenge then became teaching them DISCRETION.

Discretion says that everything that enters my brain through my ears does not need to exit through my mouth. Discretion teaches that every thought that comes to mind isn’t necessarily worthy of being shared with those around me. It reminds us that some news isn’t really ours to share.

I grew up in what I call the microwave generation. We became accustomed to “quick” things. Instead of waiting for the kettle to boil, I could have a hot cup of tea in 90 seconds. Fast food was a part of the lifestyle I lived as a teenager after my parents divorced. Then along came My Space and Facebook where messages were available at anytime of the day or night. Although they weren’t “instant” we were pretty amazed at how quickly news could spread through them. And then we got a cell phone and became available twenty-four hours a day. I learned to text. That was about as close to “instant” as I’d ever experienced. But this generation, the children and teens who are living today now have instant messaging, Twitter, and snap chat. I fear, however, that with the advent of this world of instant communication, something has been lost — discretion.

Maybe I’m just getting old, but I firmly believe that some information does not belong to me. And frankly, some information doesn’t belong to you either. What I mean by these harsh-sounding statements is that everyone should have the right to share their own “news” in their own time and in their own way.

Texting, Twitter, Facebook, and instant messaging are things that dispense information like a street vendor hands out hotdogs. Often times they do so without regard to the feelings of the people who may be involved in the message they transmit. Life events are shared without considering that it really isn’t our place to share them. Rumors abound and are often repeated again and again, even though they may have been proven to be incorrect. Misunderstandings are frequent, relationships can be damaged if not destroyed. And to be honest, reputations can easily be ruined. On the other hand, these means of communication can be tools that benefit us — WHEN they are used in a way that is considerate, thoughtful, and encouraging.

I would like to suggest an old — new — idea. Let’s practice discretion. Let’s teach consideration. Maybe, just maybe, we could return to the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Not just in our actions, but in our words, our thoughts, our statuses, our texts, and our Tweets.

(Who knows, if we return to this kind and polite means of communication, maybe a politician or two would think it was novel and would try it out themselves. We can only hope.)