Month: June 2014

It Feels Like Home

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about LoveLeave a comment

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In nearly 28 years of marriage, Mr. Gorgeous and I have lived in four apartments, four houses, and two mobile homes.

When we were in our first apartment which had about 500 square feet and pink appliances, I bought John a plaque. It said something like: “On the outside it looks like a house, but inside it feels like a home.” In those tiny rooms, we made a decision — it was a good one. We determined that no matter where we lived, no matter its size or location, we would make it a home. And we have.

At times, making a place a home involved cans of paint, curtains, pictures, rugs, and furniture along with a hammer and nails. But most of the time, making our residence a home involved creating memories and sharing love. Those things are free. Yes, some memories involve spending money — games, videos, popcorn, etc., but those “things” are really on the fringe of the memories.

When our boys were young, we lived in a huge old farm house that had been moved into town in Iowa. It had a full basement and an upstairs. We loved it. Christmas stockings hung from the oak banister of the staircase in the entry hall while our Christmas tree sat in the front window in the living room. the front deck was comfortable and we spent hours on it. And for our sons, there were trees to climb and a trampoline in the back yard. One day Nathan asked if we were rich. John and I explained that we were rich in love and memories and family… things that mattered.

Honestly, aren’t those the things that make a house into a home? Isn’t it the people with whom we live under that roof? Don’t we treasure the warmth, caring, and love that we find within its walls? Aren’t we compelled to return again to that place of acceptance and warmth by the memories that were created in those rooms and with those people?

I become concerned when I see couples who work so hard to make a living that they forget there is a life to be lived. When I see children who have every “thing” imaginable, but have very little time with those who love them I feel sad — for all of them. There is a myth in the world that “quality” time is more important the “quantity” of time.

I beg to differ. Both matter.

Quality of time allowed our family to make up a game in a borrowed RV in the South Dakota Black Hills during a rain storm. Quality of time enabled us to plan and prepay for tickets that took us on a speed boat ride across Lake Michigan in Chicago — little did we know that trip would be taken in a rain and thunder storm! Quality of time allowed us to include each of the boys in planning for the family vacation we took the year he graduated from high school. Quality matters. However, just like with M&Ms, quantity matters too.

It was the quantity of time that enabled us to create many of the memories that we treasure: evenings playing football in the park across the street, time in the front yard on bikes, roller blades, and skateboards, watching FAMILY MATTERS and THE COSBY SHOW together, notes from the tooth fairy, bedtime prayers following Bible stories, and the laughter… so much laughter. One of my new favorite things has become listening to our boys share their memories of growing up together. This is not a task for the faint of heart, believe me. I have discovered some things about my sons and their antics when I wasn’t looking that… shock, terrify, annoy, and overwhelm me. Really though, I’ve discovered that they created their own memories and that they share different yet similar versions of ours. And that is a good thing.

While the “where” matters, it’s really the “who” and the “what” that makes a house a home.

An older pop song’s chorus says, “It feels like home to me…  It feels like I’m all the way back where I belong.” (Performed by Chantal Kreviazuk.)

Those words are powerful: HOME. It’s more than a place — it’s a feeling.

Belonging. Safety. Love. Acceptance.

Shared history. Memories.

Hugs. Laughter.

Boisterous afternoons. Peaceful nights.

And, it’s the sights, the sounds, and the smells — all of them creating that feeling of home.

Yes, it feels like home.

 

 

My Heart is Full

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about Relationships4 Comments

A burnished copper sunset rests upon the Grand Mesa
A burnished copper sunset rests upon the Grand Mesa

My heart is full

Of my best friend, the handsome, adorable, caring, sexy, and loving guy

Mr. Gorgeous, my man, my husband and my partner

My heart is full

Of the skinny, tadpole-like boy with the dark hazel eyes

Who stole my heart with his first whimpering cry and grasping starfish hands

My heart is full

Of the teeny, tiny one who was in a hurry to begin his own symphony

Who has shown that a rough launch doesn’t always mean a rough landing

My heart is full

Of the laughter of the youngest who still slaps his knees when he laughs

And whose grin hides behind the bushy red beard before another epic prank unfolds

My heart is full

Of the daughter we never knew who left us before we held her

But whose promise, left unfilled, has created a hole in our family story

My heart is full

Of the daughter we DO know, the chosen one of our son

The hard working beauty who brings class and style to our red neck family

My heart is full

Of a family – immediate and extended – devoted to each other in good times and bad

Who support and share, love and care, and create a safe harbor in which to heal

My heart is full

Of classrooms filled with children – laughing, accepting, and learning

Challenging a tired teacher and making me work harder than I ever dreamed possible

My heart is full

Of the wonders around me: burnished copper sunsets, soaring snowcapped peaks

Precious friends, meandering rivers, raging oceans, lavender deserts, and mirror-like lakes

My heart is full

Of rattling windows, cups of coffee, stormy nights, family dinners, meadowlark calls

Laughter, story telling, cuddly puppies, working, sleeping, sharing and praying together

Truly,

My heart is full

They Called Me 4-Eyes

On By mdannels3In Thinking about God, Thinking about RelationshipsLeave a comment

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I was in fourth grade when my long-awaited glasses finally arrived. During the summer between third and fourth grade, my dad and I went to Denver. He had a doctor’s appointment and I had an eye doctor’s appointment. I picked out my glasses, we went to the Denver Zoo, Dad went to the doctor, and we headed home to Montrose. Months — it felt like years — later, my glasses came in the mail. They were tortoise shell ovals — very hip. I was immensely thankful for them, I could finally see the chalk board where Mrs. Stokes would write tests. I had failed a few timed tests already that year because I couldn’t see the questions or problems. Of course, the usual nicknames came with the glasses — they called me 4-Eyes. Since I could finally see, I was fine with that.

My sister, Gayla, got her first pair of glasses when she was around the same age. They say that when she first put them on, she was amazed by what she could see. The fact that trees had leaves that could actually be seen as individual items amazed her — and made our parents cry. Imagine going through life not seeing, but believing that you were.

How many times do I go through life believing that I can see, but not truly doing so?

First of all, I am oblivious to much that is around me. I am aware of what should be there and because of that, I will often miss the “little” changes. In 8th grade English, my teacher asked us to write down what we saw as we looked out our window or walked out of our house that morning. Every morning, I did the dishes and could see the adobe hills and Buck Horn — a mountain across the valley from our home. He read it, then looked at me and told me I hadn’t been very observant. Apparently that morning the valley and mountains were covered by clouds. I had missed it. Since then I’ve tried to be more observant, but I am not always very successful. If I am oblivious to the little “things” am I also oblivious to the “big” things?

Then of course there are the wonders that surround me — I tend to take them for granted. Just as I was oblivious to that morning so many years ago, I often take the beauty in people and in this amazing area where I live for granted. We’ve learned to love going on cruises. Because we are in the tropical areas for such a short time, we soak it in. We savor our time, take hundreds of pictures (I think it was 1300 on the last cuise), we memorize smells and flavors, we create memories. Later, on those cold Colorado winter days, I pull out a memory of a tropical beach and I enjoy it. In doing so, do I forget to treasure the cool, clear, crisp moments, the mountains, the snow fall, the puppy, the house, and all of the wonders that surround me?

When I’m thinking like this, I have to ask myself if I truly see the people who are in my life. Do I see their hurts and fears? Am I able to notice when they are overwhelmed and in need of an encouraging word? An amazing lady from our church saw Mr. Gorgeous at the lumber yard earlier this week. While she was there, she gave him some encouraging words that were an incredible blessing to both of us. When I am around people, do I truly understand their needs? Naturally I have to wonder if, when I see their concerns, I am willing to help? And, have I allowed enough time in my schedule to be available to them when they have a need? God did not intend us to fill our days so full with doing things that we are unable to set aside our “schedule” to be available to one of His children. My mom use to say that we shouldn’t be so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good. This starts, I believe, with seeing those around us — and then, being available to them to meet their needs . . . and to allow them to reach into my life and perhaps, to encourage and bless me as well.

One last thought, with my “4-eyes,” do I see God? Do I see Him in this world to which I am often oblivious? Do I see Him in the amazing wonders that I take for granted? Am I able to recognize Him in the smile, the words, the actions, and the lives of the people around me? Do I see Him — truly see Him? He is working in this world and in our lives. I need to make sure that my eyes are open and that I notice what He does and how He is at work.

I’ve discovered that when I’m frustrated or confused or sad, I have a tendency to be oblivious about God’s work and I take what He does for me, in me, and through me for granted. I need to put on my spiritual glasses and truly SEE God. He blesses, provides, encourages, and loves me. How can I not see that?