Category: Thinking about God

Such a Simple Thing

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Communication, Thinking about God, Thinking about RelationshipsLeave a comment

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It’s really a little thing.

I mean, cooking a meal… that’s kind of in the job description of a parent or a spouse, isn’t it?

To be honest, I am not sure if I ever really thanked my mom or my step mom for a meal they prepared. And if I didn’t, I’m ashamed of myself.

You see, it was after we got married and I began cooking for John that I noticed his habit of saying “thank you” for every meal — whether it came from a fast food restaurant, a microwavable bowl purchased at the grocery, the pizza delivery guy, or some hard work in the kitchen.

It’s a small thing.

But words have power and so those two small words mean the world.

It’s not just John though. Our boys usually do it too. Their father has been their model and after most meals, they will say,”Thank you.” If John cooks, I also say thank you, and if we share the cooking, we thank each other. It has become a habit — a good one.

In this world, there are times when it seems that small things no longer matter.

After all, even an invitation to the prom these days requires pictures and posters and flowers and candy… Seriously? Okay, I am not criticizing going the extra mile for someone  you care about, but  it feels like we’ve tried to make everything big, huge, or gigantic. It’s as though nothing is special, because EVERYTHING is special.

Kindergartners graduate, 5th graders do, 8th graders do… By the time they get to high school, it hardly seems special anymore.

I remember talking with a friend about her husband who was apparently not very romantic. Every once in a while, they would take an evening walk and he would stop and pick the biggest, brightest dandelion he could find and hand it to her. It was a little thing, but it meant everything to her.

A few years ago, one of my students came to class during “Teacher Appreciation Week” and handed me a bouquet of lilacs and other flowers that he had picked from the yard on his family’s farm as he waited for the school bus that morning. When he gave them to me in a dusty mason jar that  he had taken from their basement, he told me that he just wanted me to know that he was glad I was his teacher. It took thought and time on his part and I value that gift along with the effort he put into it. In some ways, it was a little thing, but in other ways, it was huge.

Truthfully, there are many times when small things become huge things to me.

I cannot express how huge it is to fill included — to be welcomed, to feel a part of group who see you as one of them. It’s a small thing to many, but to someone who has moved around a lot, it is an amazingly enormous gift.

In my desk, I have an expandable folder filled to overflowing. It contains notes from students, family, friends, and church members. They are notes of encouragement, thank you notes, and even good-bye notes. The words on them are small things — they took only a moment or two to write, but they have had years of impact on my life and the lives of our family. Really, they are small things yet, they are treasures.

How important is it that we do small things?

What is the value of taking a few small moments and reaching out, or a few seconds to say thank you?

20190309_150110In my Christmas stocking, John placed a beautiful necklace that has three small bars hanging from it. Each bar has a separate word: THANKFUL, GRATEFUL, and BLESSED.

I’ve been trying very hard to live a life where I recognize all that I should be thankful for, the gratitude I need to develop, and the many ways in which I have been blessed. As I am learning to recognize them, I am working to acknowledge those who have contributed to my life and made it richer — and I am challenging myself to express my awareness of and my thankfulness for their touch in my life.

I try to do it in small ways. First of all, I thank God for them. Then, I try to do something tangible. A thank you, a flower, a text, a note, a small gift, a pat on the back —  verbally or literally, a hug, a smile, an encouraging word, a cookie, a treat, a brag about them… so many little ways to let someone know that they have touched your life, that they have made a difference. If I value the little things, I know that others will too.

It really isn’t that hard, but it does take intention and thought.

I need to do it more.  You?

 

 

 

Super…. what?

On By mdannels3In Thinking about GodLeave a comment

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Super Man

Super Power

Supersize

Super Bowl

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

They all make about the same amount of sense to me.

Super Man — a regular guy who comes out of a telephone booth wearing tights, prepared to save the day  — or the maiden — or the world. Whatever needs saving, he’s there to do it.

Super Power  — Yeah. I got nothin’. Okay, not true. As a teacher, there were a couple of years when I wanted a shirt that said, “Teaching is my Super Power.” Then I decided that if I were really going to have a super power, I would probably choose something else. Maybe I’d pick having eyes in the back of my head. Now that would be a useful “power”.

Super size. Um…  Lets just say no!

Super Bowl.  Broncos aren’t there, Packers aren’t there. Too many controversies in the playoffs — I’m not watching.

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious… “…even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious.”(Lyrics by Richard Sherman, Robert Sherman, and Anthony Drewe.) Oops. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I know the song so I should sing it… or not.

Why are we so obsessed with the idea of “super” this or “super” that? Why do we want things to be “super”?  What’s the point?

In our world we seem to be obsessed with something being more, one of a kind, better, or “super”. What is “it” better than? Sometimes we don’t even know what we are comparing “it” to. And therein lies the problem.

The enemy of contentment is comparison.

Why do we care about the newest, latest, greatest thing? It’s because we are comparing our reality to what we assume is the reality for someone else. When we do that, we fail to see what lies before us; we fail to appreciate the value of God’s provision in our life.

He does provide, doesn’t He?

He provides more than we realize. He brings people into our lives. Some of them challenge us and help us to grow, while others encourage and bless us as we are doing the hard work of growing. He provides a home, a job, food, and every kind of provision. He allows us to learn from Him in prayer and through His Word. He sent His Son to bring His love and to give us an opportunity to know Him personally. He gives Himself.

He does so much for us…

What if we stopped comparing our lives with the lives of the friend from work, or the neighbor down the street, or the family at church?  What if we choose to accept the lifestyle that God has for us and we learn to be content? What if, instead of always wanting the next great thing, we chose to live with what is?

Please understand, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t stretch and try to do more or be better or improve our life. That’s is not my point. We need to do those things as God leads. But as we do them, let’s be sure that we are following His lead and not just striving for the next “super” moment in life.

Wouldn’t it be great if we would get to the place where we could join the Apostle Paul  in saying, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Philippians 4:11)?

Honestly, this is something that I need to keep working on.

How about you?

Note: The phrase “Comparison is the enemy of contentment” is not a wholly original idea, although I do not know where it originated. 

 

The Grandest of Gestures

On By mdannels3In Thinking about God, Thinking about LoveLeave a comment

We have all seen them or heard about them. Those grand gestures that people make.

Several years ago John and I were invited to sing at a church Valentine’s Day Banquet. At one point in the evening, couples were instructed to share their engagement story. We were at the table with the couple who invited us to be the special musicians for the evening. As they shared their story, we sat in amazement. This guy that we knew as a mechanic was a closet romantic. He had mastered the grand gesture and used it to his advantage when he proposed to his wife.

Last night, Christmas Eve, John mastered the grand gesture. This year has been an difficult time for me and this Christmas season has been particularly challenging. I’ve been emotional and have really struggled. Although I have some ideas, I am uncertain as to exactly why. Well, my husband has watched me, cared for me, and seen the challenges I’ve faced. To make my day bright, he created a wonderland in our yard. He recreated a vision from my childhood and from the early days of our marriage in New Mexico. He collected LED candles, kitty litter, and brown paper bags. Then he made, nearly fifty luminarias and placed them on the sidewalk in front of our house leading up to the front door of the church and the front door of our house. In New Mexico, these are a traditional Christmas decoration. They are intended to lead the Christ child to a place of safety and shelter. Luminarias are elegant in their simplicity and beauty. He made me cry.

It was truly a grand gesture, a gift, a treasure — and it was beautifully done.

Christmas is a time for grand gestures. And, to be honest, it started by the grandest of gestures, but sadly it has been missed by many.

The grandest gesture was modeled for us by God who sent His Son to be born in a borrowed space, wrapped in strips of cloth, and lain in a feeding trough. This child was Jesus. He was born of a young virgin and an earthly “father” who loved and raised him to be a man.

As a mother, my mind’s eye takes over when I think of Jesus as a toddler. I can imagine Him playing in the sawdust at His father’s feet, playing with wood scraps and old tools for toys. I can picture Him imitating His daddy. Somewhere in my mind there is a vision of Jesus picking the “flowering weeds” and taking them to Mary to make her day brighter. Later, I can imagine Him working with His father learning the carpentry trade as a teenager. I have no difficulty picturing Jesus as an adult playing with the children who were drawn to Him, to His gentleness, and to His kindness.

This the grandest of gestures that God sent changed the world. Jesus came to bring light to a dark world and to help us find our place with His Father. He came to show us the way to know His Heavenly Father.

He came as a gift.

In coming, He gives the greatest gift.

A grand gesture? We’ve all been the recipient of one. In fact, we’ve been the recipient of the grandest of gestures.  Jesus has come for all of us — for you and for me. Have you accepted His gift? Have you accepted Jesus?

Is Jesus welcome where you are?

A Lesson in Gratitude

On By mdannels3In Thinking about God, Thinking about SchoolLeave a comment

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I always learn from my students; sometimes the lesson is unexpected.

It started several years ago when I taught middle school in Colorado. There had been a tsunami in Southeast Asia and there was a lot of news coverage. I remember watching children on a beach on one of those islands. They were playing – actually, they were digging through piles of debris that had washed ashore after the tsunami devastated their island, looking for something to play with. It broke my heart.

The next day, I went to school and watched our students with their cell phones and iPods and I wondered how they would do if suddenly everything that they had was gone. Since it was close to Thanksgiving, I decided to turn this current event into a lesson. I talked about how our hands here in the US are so full – full of food, books, games, distractions… And I talked about how those children on the beach had nothing. Their hands were completely empty.

Of course, time moved on and now I’m teaching elementary school in Wisconsin. But the world is still filled with tragedies and incomprehensible loss. I sat in a meeting last week with a woman whose granddaughter lives in Florida. Due to the hurricane that recently impacted that region, that young girl is going to school in a high school and has missed a great deal of school because of the storm. Then of course, there are the fires in the west. Specifically, the fire in the small town of Paradise, California – a town we’ve been to, a place where people we know have made their home.

In my classroom, I watched as one of my students picked up a reading book and then changed his mind and grabbed another one instead, and then repeated that action three or four times. He had so much to choose from while children in Florida and in California have nothing.

So, I once again talked to my students about how their hands are full.

It’s often a hard concept for children to understand – the idea that they have so much when others have nothing. I tied it into the fact that we are almost to Thanksgiving.

I gave my students a piece of paper and asked them to draw around their hand. I asked that they enclose the hand completely. I then showed them a photo of an elementary school in Florida that was damaged during the hurricane. Afterward, we viewed a picture of the burned out skeleton of the elementary school in Paradise. We talked about how the students in those schools – and others impacted by similar tragedies – have nothing because it is all gone. We talked about how very much we have including library books, games, puzzles, text books, desks, playground equipment, a roof, and walls. Truly, our hands are full.

Students were then instructed to write things into the drawing of their hand – things that they have, things for which they are thankful. They kept it on their desk for two days. As they thought of something, they wrote it into their hand. The thought was simple: our hands are full – fill the picture of your hand with things that you have that others may not. It was intended to be an exercise in gratitude, an opportunity to realize how very rich we are in our country, the chance to recognize how much we have.

I completed mine and hung it up on our “Works of Art” bulletin board. The children continued to work on theirs. It took them two days to fill their hands and as they did, they hung theirs up as well. At the end of the last day to turn it in, we were down to two or three students and I reminded them that they needed to be finished. One little girl went to put hers up when I realized what I was seeing…

She had written very small – she always does – and not only did she fill her hand, but she filled the paper around her hand as well. Yes, she FILLED it. Many of the things are definitely fourth grade things, they are written from the perspective of a child. Even so, I was amazed – and I continue to be. SHE FILLED THE PAGE. Some of her listed items make me smile.

Still… She. Filled. The. Page.

When was the last time I was truly aware of the things that fill my hands?

When did I last give thanks for my glasses, or eagles, or land, or buckets, or eyebrows, or zippers? I’ll freely admit it, I’ve NEVER been thankful for spiders… ick. But there are a lot of things on her list that I COULD be and perhaps SHOULD be thankful for.

There is so much more in this world to be thankful for – so many more things to be aware of, to appreciate, to value.

A ten year old reminded me of that fact.

We live in a world that is filled with God’s hand and God’s touch. We need to realize that our hands are full. We need to show our gratitude.

I needed to be reminded; I need to be grateful.

 

A Hunger for More

On By mdannels3In Thinking about God2 Comments

Yesterday was Parent-Teacher Conferences and, as such, I was at school for 13 1/2 hours. It was a good day — long — but good. This morning since it was Fall Break, I slept in.

Hurray for being able to turn off the alarm clock!

Even though this was a day off work, there was work to be done. And so I went grocery shopping — perhaps my least favorite of all chores.

I wandered up and down the aisles of my local supermarket, marked items off my list, avoided workers as they stocked shelves, added up the prices to make sure we stayed on budget, and suddenly I thought, “I’m starving!” Yes, I know, you aren’t supposed to go shopping when you are hungry. But the phrase, “I’m starving,” kept running through my head.

Because I’ve recently made commitments to myself and to others to live a healthier life, I try to respond to that kind of an internal message by evaluating… No. I wasn’t hungry — and I most definitely WASN’T starving.

Still, that phrase kept running through my head and my heart.

As I continued assessing where that feeling was coming from, I could find no reason to feel as though I was “starving.”

So I asked the One who knows all; I asked my Father why I was having that sensation of hunger.

And He answered.

His answer went something like this… “My daughter, you are not hungry for food, you are hungry for ME. You are hungry to be in my Word, to spend time talking and listening to me in prayer. You are missing that time when we are together. Me. You’re hungry for Me.”

I sensed His answer as clearly as if I’d heard His voice audibly. It was a sense deep in my spirit, a calling in my soul, an assurance in my heart that time with Him would fill me again.

Spending time with Him is my practice each night before I go to bed. I spend time in the Word and at different times during the day, I spend time in prayer, but sometimes I still need to do a more than usual. Sometimes I just need to go deeper.

My relationship with Him is like any other relationship of which I am a part. You see, I’ve been married to John for 32 years. I love him. We see each other daily — talk together, eat together, and laugh together every day. Earlier this week, I was grading papers when John came into our room and asked me if I would go on a date with him on Friday. Of course I said, “Yes,” and tonight we went out together. We shared some laughter and conversation, ate salad and pizza, and we drank Coke Zero at Pizza Ranch. It wasn’t a fancy time or even an “out of the ordinary” time. Instead, it was time spent doing what we always do. Even so, it was special because  we set that time apart — just to concentrate on each other — to focus on what we wanted to talk about — not what we needed to talk about. Those conversations are different.

It’s what God wants and it’s what I need.

I need to set aside a special time — time for more than just the normal reading and praying. I need to have a different kind of a conversation with my Father. I need a concentrated time to listen and to allow him to fill me again with His peace, His love, grace, assurance, and with His presence.

How about you?

 

 

 

The Right Kind of Guy

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about GodLeave a comment

Okay, it’s time to come clean. I’m on a diet. But, not really.

Instead of being on a diet, I’m on a quest to live a healthier, more active life. I have been having some success with counting calories using an App. It also counts my steps and reminds to move. I like it. I’m independent in my journey, yet I’ve asked someone to provide me with some accountability. She is; I’m thankful.

All of this is to tell you about a Sunday evening, a few weeks ago. The App I am using divides foods into green, yellow, and red. Red foods are 1/4 of my daily allowance — so, not much. I have to plan for them and honestly, I don’t mind doing that. Thinking about what I eat is good for me. It’s certainly better than me going to the fridge, pulling the door open, and grabbing whatever I can find because I’ve got the nibbles.

Anyway, that Sunday. I had my usual breakfast and a fairly light lunch with my men at Red Robin. I purposely chose a salad for lunch so that we could splurge that night and go to the yummy ice cream store and buy a delicious treat. After we got home, I did some school work the men watched football and I waited… Actually, I wasn’t really watching the clock, but I was most definitely looking forward to being told we were getting ice cream. Finally, after 8:30, I came out of the bedroom, looked at the clock, and said I guess we wouldn’t be getting ice cream.

I had leftovers from lunch in the fridge, but had planned to have them the next day at work. Everyone else had eaten supper. I hadn’t and I was hungry.

My sweet husband was so troubled by the fact that I hadn’t eaten that he offered to make me something…. so I let him. He asked what I wanted and I suggested scrambled eggs and leftover potatoes from a day or two earlier.

A while later, he gave me my dinner.

It was delicious.

This is not an unusual story at our house. Mr. Gorgeous has always been a thoughtful and considerate guy.

In my fourth grade classroom my students keep a “Thankful Journal.” During the first week of school, they created a numbered list of 50 things for which they are thankful. Then in writing, they are assigned a number, they search their list to find out what item that number corresponds to and they write for five minutes to explain what they have listed and why they are thankful for it.

Today, one of my boys asked if we could write in the Thankful Journal. Rule of thumb, if a boy asks to write something, you say, “YES!” immediately. I did.

I keep a Thankful Journal right along with my students. Today, I wrote about Mr. Gorgeous, aka, John, my guy, my husband, partner, pastor, and friend.

As I wrote, I realized that there are so many things to be thankful for. Not just his kindness and leadership, but also the way he works to make my dreams come true. His selflessness is truly a blessing to our sons and to me. He supports us in whatever we want to do. He provides encouragement, care, and even resources.

As I’ve watched our boys become men, I see their father.

I see compassion and love, responsibility, caring, gentleness, confidence, and capability.

There were many things on my “husband wish list” before we got married. Thankfully, I found a man with the character that reflected God.

He is the right kind of guy.

He’s the kind who is strong and who knows where his strength comes from.

If I had a daughter, I would tell her to look for the right kind of guy. The guy who reflects the God who made him and the God he serves. That should be non-negotiable.

That’s the RIGHT kind of guy.

Dressing In the Dark

On By mdannels3In Thinking about GodLeave a comment

 

 

 

Have you ever gotten dressed in the dark and realized you’d made some…. um, interesting choices?

When I taught in Colorado, I dressed in the light — a very dim light — and I managed to get to school with black slacks and navy shoes. I noticed at 2 or 2:30 in the afternoon — school got out at 3:15. Another day, I got to school wearing navy pants with one black and one navy shoe. I noticed at noon.

Today, I got up, dressed in the bathroom so I wouldn’t wake my husband and realized I forgot to choose my earrings. I knew what pair I wanted and I knew where they hang on my earring rack. I went in the bedroom, grabbed the earrings and my things, headed out the door, got in the car and put my earrings on before I started the engine. I never checked a mirror. I taught all morning and quickly ran to the bathroom after lunch, but I was in hurry and didn’t even check the mirror. After school, I stopped in the bathroom before I left for the day and looked in the mirror. Yes, both earrings are crystals, but one is 1 and 1/2 inches long while the other is 3/4 of an inch long. Oops.

No one said anything — had they done so, I would have removed them both. What’s weird is that my fourth grade students didn’t say anything — and they notice EVERYTHING, especially when something is wrong.

Oh well… lesson learned. Until the next time.

As I think about this, I realize that I am often inattentive to the details in the world around me. Honestly, that’s not that unusual. Many of us miss the details.

God’s capacity for detail is enormous.

I am thankful that even though I miss the details, there is One who never does. There is One who sees all, understands all, and best of all, knows all.

That is an enormous relief to me.

One school of thought says that there are two kinds of thinkers — linear and global. According to SocialMettle.com, linear thinkers see the trees before they see the forest, while global thinkers see the forest before they see the trees. I’m a global thinker — I see the big picture and many of the details are ignored. Not intentionally, mind you, but ignored all the same. There are days when I would love to be a bit more linear in my thought process. I’ve learned to be functionally linear, but I have to work at it. I still miss trees now and then — like this morning.

Yet, God’s capacity for detail is enormous.

God even knows the number of hairs on our heads. (Luke 12:7, Matthew 10:30.)  He counts the stars (!) and He calls them by name. (Psalm 147:4.) In fact, He has engraved each one us — you and me and all of the people that we love and all the people they love, and the ones they love, and on into eternity — on the palm of His hand. (Isaiah 49:16.)  Now THAT is capacity for detail.

On those days when I’m wearing the wrong colored shoes or two different earrings and feeling silly and small or foolish and insignificant, God knows me. God sees me and best of all, He loves me.

My friend, God knows you. He sees you. And yes, He loves you.

On those days when you feel small or unnoticed or even worthless, God knows where you are and He sees you. He feels your pain and cares for you. You may feel alone, but you are not; He is with you. And those details that seem so overwhelming and overpowering? Don’t worry about them. He’s got this and He’s got you.

I’m the Mom…

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about Relationships, Thinking about SchoolLeave a comment

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In our boys early years, I would sit down before school started each year and write a letter to each of their teachers. The boys delivered the letters to them during the first week of classes. It was our way of letting the teacher know that we were going to be involved parents. (Teachers probably thought we would be helicopter parents — I  don’t think we were that bad!) But more than that, it was an opportunity to introduce our children to their teachers. We knew that these handsome little boys would be faces in a crowd and we wanted to give them the best possible start to their school year.

The oldest’s letter went something like this:

“As the oldest of three boys, he is a very responsible young man who hates school, but if he trusts you, he will follow you to the moon and back. He has traveled to many states, seen many amazing things, visited numerous museums, and as a result, is curious about how and why things work. Learning is hard for him. He will ask for help — but only when he’s desperate. He’s hard on himself and thinks that things should come easier than they do. Please be patient with him.”

The middle son’s letter was different:

“This boy taught himself to read when he was four. Learning comes easily to him. He has a photographic memory, is fascinated by WWII, and can explain how submarines work. If you tell him what you plan to teach, he will come to school the next day knowing more about it than you can imagine. He will challenge you — if you misquote a fact, he will correct you and often, he will be right. He is a perfectionist and is very hard on himself. We are trying to help him find balance. Your job will be a tough one, but we believe in you and will pray for you. Keep in touch with us and we will help as we can.”

The letter for the youngest was different still:

“You will find that he is a kind, caring, and gentle young man. His goal in life is to make people around him laugh; we apologize in advance because he’s good at it. He knows how to behave, but may need a gentle reminder or two. When he gets “tickled” he will laugh until he cries — often slapping his leg in the process. He does imitations of adults, movie stars, cartoon characters, and yes, teachers. He learns fairly easily, reads voraciously, loves CALVIN AND HOBBES, and cares deeply about the people who surround him. Honestly, for him, relationships are far more important than learning or grades.”

Like all parents, we knew that our boys were very different young men. They still are. Like all parents, one of the fascinating challenges we faced was helping each of our boys to succeed in the areas where he had ability. While growing stronger in areas of strength is important, we also tried to stretch them and help them to challenge themselves — to find new areas of interest, and to determine new abilities. More than anything, however, we wanted our boys to see God as a loving Heavenly Father and to make the decision to love, follow, and serve Him. We still want that.

As the mom, I love to look back at pictures from our yesterdays: baby pictures, school pictures, holidays, vacations, and everyday snap shots. I often “paint a picture” in my mind of the growth of each of these young men, and sometimes I wonder if we did enough. Was there sufficient laughter and play balanced by times of hard work? Did we travel, learn, and create enough? Was our time together as a family valued? Did we spend enough time together learning about God and serving others?

Naturally, we weren’t perfect, but the pictures remind me that maybe, just maybe, with God’s help we did okay. We see the men they have become and we are proud of them and the choices they are making. Are we disappointed sometimes? Of course, but they are good men — men of character and strength.

These men of character moved from the “little boy stage” to young boys in classrooms, at music lessons, in libraries, at Church, in Sunday School, and in our home — wherever it might have been. Many, many people helped us as we worked to raise them. There were teachers, pastors, Sunday School teachers, Youth leaders, friends and friends’ moms and dads. Ultimately, we are the ones who are responsible for the way they were raised. We were careful to choose people who we believed would love our boys for the  people they were and the men they could become.

That’s why we wrote the letters. That’s why we prayed for their teachers, friends, friends’ parents, neighbors, and the church members who surrounded them. It’s why we prayed for the ones they would love and choose to spend their life with — and it’s why we still do.

Being the Mom is a great honor and privilege, but it is an enormous responsibility — one I wouldn’t trade for anything. This whole Mom thing is one of my favorites, no matter how old those boys get!

Navigating the Fog

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Fog…. Ick.

Okay, I’ll be honest, it’s not the FOG that is ick; it’s DRIVING in fog that is ick.

Recently, another teacher and I attended a workshop in a small town about 90 miles away. I had to drive a school district vehicle there every morning and home again every evening for three days. As I drove, I navigated through fog all three mornings. The first and last mornings the fog was patchy, while heavy at times. But that middle morning… Oh. My. Goodness. It was thick and heavy the whole ninety – oops, make that 130 miles.

Yes, I admit it, I got lost in the fog. I missed a highway marker sign and a sign that told me to turn. I went on to a small town – nearly 20 miles further than I should have. The fog was thick enough that we weren’t able to get a signal on either of our map apps on our phones. So, I did the only logical thing – I turned around and went back 20 miles, found the small sign and turned. We made it to our conference – about half an hour late. Glad we left early.

Fog does funny things.

If I don’t have to drive in it, I love to sit out in it. While sitting there, I feel as though I am cushioned in cotton. I feel safe and protected. The world feels quieter and more peaceful. When I was a little girl I remember my Grandmother had a beautiful broach with blue glass stones. She kept it in a small white gift box where it sat on cotton and was covered with cotton. That’s how I feel when I sit in fog. I feel treasured – like God has wrapped me in a soft blanket of His protection and peace. Weird? Probably, but that’s okay.

I’ve driven/ridden in fog that was so thick I couldn’t see where I was two different times in my life. One was last week. It was frustrating and stressful. The other time, I was a passenger in a car and my husband was driving. We were going from Sacramento, CA heading to a small town north of there. For the first time in my life, I saw arrows painted onto the highway telling the driver to change lanes. The fog in this area was often so thick that signs couldn’t be seen so they had to come up with a different, more efficient way to communicate with drivers on the roads. In my opinion, the speed at which the cars traveled on that stretch of the freeway was way too fast for the conditions. I recall feeling the same kind of emotions as I did last week, frustration and stress. I was also a little scared.

If I’m honest, I’ll admit that it’s not just the weather and humidity that cause fog in my life. There are different kinds of fog.

There is the numbing fog that you feel when IMG_7665you’ve been given news you’d rather not hear. An unexpected diagnosis, news of a loss, facing unjust circumstances are all situations that come to mind. Of course, there is that fog that you experience when you don’t feel well, when your symptoms or medication make you feel a little “off” or a little out of it. As I grew up, I couldn’t really fool people into believing I was sick – and yes, I may have tried a time or two. However if I felt badly, people could almost always tell because I was usually out of sync with the people or situations around me. I often seemed to not notice the people or conversations or dangers around me. It was like I was functioning in my own foggy world.

And the most frightening of all kinds of fog – spiritual fog. This is the confusion that we experience when we aren’t following the right path. It happens because we’ve taken our focus off the navigational equipment:  His Word, our faith, time with Him spent in prayer, and time spent listening.

Navigating the fog in our life may mean we need to slow down or even turn around. It may mean that we need to sit, rest, and enjoy God’s protection and care. It could be that we white knuckle our way through it, knowing that it will eventually end. Making it to the other side of the fog may mean taking time to pursue a remedy and taking time to heal. Or, it could be that we very simply need to focus on the tools we’ve been given… God’s Word, using our faith to follow where He leads us, and spending time with our Father in prayer.

Well my friend, how’s the fog out your way?

 

To Love and to Cherish

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about Love, UncategorizedLeave a comment

He was tall, had red hair and a beard. His car was fast… and cool. (I liked sports cars.) He was shy and cute, really cute.

I was interested; he wasn’t.

Oh well.

And so I waited, seven months I waited. Finally, he called. We went on our first date: dinner out and going home to play UNO with my mom afterward. Six weeks later he asked me to be his wife; I was smart enough to say yes.

Six months later, we were married in the same Church building that Grandfather helped drag into town from the canyon east of town to help plant a new church that he and my Grandmother attended; the same church building where my parents were married. The history and tie to the past that that place gave to us as we began our life together was special for me, and he understood.

Since that time, we’ve had good times and hard times. I find it difficult to say that we’ve had bad times because honestly, there have been hard days and tough times, but I can’t say that they were bad times. Difficulties, challenges and struggles have caused us to cling more tightly to each other. They have allowed us to know each other better, to see each other’s strengths and to be strong where the other wasn’t as strong. Those hard times have helped us to lean more fully on our Heavenly Father as we’ve leaned on each other.

How can you say those are bad times?

In thirty-two years we have welcomed three sons, lost a daughter, and welcomed another daughter, our daughter-in-love. We’ve traveled a great deal within the U.S., dragging our sons through museums, onto beaches, to the rim of canyons, and other tourist sights. Summers brought hikes, picnics, “drives” – including an annual color drive in the fall, and swimming in hotel pools. Our family has played football in parks, school yards, and our own backyard. Barbecuing became a favored routine. Cracker Barrel, our favorite restaurant, became a vacation destination, and Italian food is our special Christmas Eve dinner.

For more than three decades, we’ve made new memories and shared amazing moments. In fact, this week we will be married for 32 years.

THIRTY-TWO YEARS…

I could tell you how amazing he is – and he is. I could brag on him and tell you how hard he works in the church and on his secular job, because he does. Without feeling badly, I could tell you that he’s a great father and example for our sons and it would be completely true.

But more than anything, I want to tell you that he loves me and I love him.

During our years together, we’ve watched many marriages. Through observation and a “few” years of on the job training, I’ve come to some conclusions about marriage.

Marriage isn’t a 50 / 50 proposition, it’s a 100% /100% deal. You both have to be all in, 100% committed to the relationship and the success of the marriage. Without that commitment it will be a struggle, at best and chances are, the marriage will fail.

Relationships are tolerant. They require that together we survive the hard days, and we celebrate together on the good ones. It means that there are times when one will be stronger than the other, that one will be exhausted and the other will be energetic, that one will be healthy and one will not. A time will come, if it hasn’t already, when you will disagree. Eventually, one or both of you will lose a family member and you will be the one who loves them and gives them a safe place to grieve.

Illnesses will come. Kids might, too. Both of these bring new stresses that, if you are not totally committed to each other, can become barriers and create areas of conflict. And then there’s money. Anyone who thinks that money isn’t an issue in marriage is sadly mistaken. There’s either too much – or not enough, and either way, if you don’t talk about it and work together, it will be point of stress.

Respect is a key ingredient in a successful marriage. It’s important that you both respect each other. When you pledge your lives to each other, you become partners. Respecting your partner is a key to any successful partnership. You need to respect the gifts and strengths that he or she brings to the partnership. Respecting your partner’s opinion and ideas reassures them that you value them. Honest, quality communication is another way to show your respect. Listen and listen some more. Then, listen again.

Please allow me to give you some very practical advice: hold hands often, smile at each other, search each other out in a crowd, compliment your beloved, wink at that one who stole your heart, dress up for one another – even if you’re just getting pizza, date each other, leave notes for one another, and when you can afford it, travel together – even if it’s just down the street for the night. Finally, hug each other and say, “I love you,” every day.

For us, when he asked me to marry him, I asked him if he would still hold my hand when we’d been married thirty years… or fifty… or more…

So far so good…