Category: Thinking about God

Touch Points

On By mdannels3In Thinking about God, Thinking about RelationshipsLeave a comment
A few touch points in my life: My Bible, my favorite doll from childhood, and Sad Sack -- again, a toy from my childhood.
A few touch points in my life: My Bible, my favorite doll from childhood, and Sad Sack — again, a toy from my childhood.

Recently, at a thrift store, I bought a stainless steel bowl. On one side, it has a small metal ring down about an inch from the top edge. I have another one a teensy bit smaller, but when I found that one, I had to have it. It is the egg salad bowl — and it is just like the one that my Aunt Rose made her egg salad in for years.

Every summer, for forever it seems, I have planted purple pansies with yellow “faces.” I’m not really sure they are my favorite pansies, but they are a necessary part of my yard because my Great Grandma grew them under a window in her yard.

In my jewelry box you will find a Mickey Mouse watch with a red band on one side and a brown leather band on the other side — it was handmade by my Daddy after I broke the original red strap.

I have my Mom’s wedding ring hidden away in a compartment in a wooden box.

In my wallet is a card that came with a bouquet of flowers from Mr. Gorgeous back when we were in college. What he said on that card is special.

My sons and I watch A MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL starting in November and numerous times clear up until Christmas. And if I’m really down — even in the summer — I will watch it again.

There is a Children’s Bible for Early Readers that I treasure. You see, our sons took turns reading the Christmas story to our family from that Bible.

Even if I am 100 years old, my favorite movies will always be JUNGLE BOOK, BEAUTY AND THE BEAST, and LION KING — all three cartoon versions produced by Disney. These movies were our boys favorites at different points in their lives and I will always treasure the memories of watching them with my “little” boys.

I have bubble-gum machine rings from our boys, a plethora of handmade bookmarks from Phillip, a blue angel Christmas tree ornament from Nathan, and a threadbare Winnie the Pooh wallet from Ben.

Each of these things — and so many more — are precious to me, not because of their cost, but because of the memories that are attached to them. The true value of the “things” in my life can only be measured in the relationships that they represent.

I’ve been sentimental all of my life. I still have things from childhood — Sad Sack a squeaky dog and my baby doll from when I was tiny along with notes and cards, and even an essay from 4th grade. They are — forgive my description — “touch points” in my life. The items, these things and the relationships that they represent are from a specific time in my life. In strange ways they reassure me. They remind me that I’m loved, that I’m smart, that I’m capable, and/or that I belong.

I’m sentimental about my Bible too. Now I don’t know how you feel about it, but I write in my Bible. I mark it, take sermon notes in it, underline in it and highlight it. You see, I believe that my Bible is God’s love letter to me. My response to that letter is my “talking” back to Him in my prayers and in the notes in my Bible. When God speaks to me through His Word, I put the date by it — sometimes I will write a situation beside it. In many ways, my Bibles are spiritual diaries.

I received a Bible for my 24th birthday and I used it for five or six years. If you were to read it, you would find notes and promises marked from different times in my life: meeting Mr. Gorgeous, getting married, having three boys, going to college, and becoming a pastor. Promises would be underlined. You would find our son’s names by specific scriptures — they were promises that God gave to me for each of our boys. You would find music notes, keys, and hearts drawn in the margins. Those symbols mean something to me.

Since then I’ve had three or four additional Bibles. Each one tells the story of the time in which I used it. Dates, symbols, highlighting, underlining, and notes remain constant — but they are different in each one. They are my spiritual “touch points.” Each note, symbol, or mark reminds me that God cares about who I am. They tell me that He wants me to be more like Him. And, those things remind me that He loves me enough to send His Son to die for me.

The touch points that remind me of my human relationships are precious and important. But the touch points that show the details of my journey with my Heavenly Father? They are life changing.

Hiding Behind A Mask

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about GodLeave a comment

 

A group of favorite Halloween costumes from 1997: Nate -- an Iowa Hawkeye football player; Phil -- a puppy; and Ben -- a fireman.
A group of favorite Halloween costumes from 1997: Nate — an Iowa Hawkeye football player; Phil — a puppy; and Ben — a fireman.

Well, it’s Halloween. I’m looking forward to what I hope will be an entourage of silly, scary, and strange creatures showing up on our porch tonight saying the words, “Trick or treat.” In fact, John has worked diligently to fix the electrical connection and replace the porch lights at our house so that trick-or-treaters would know that they were welcome and would come to our home.

You see, for the past 12 1/2 years we lived behind a church, out in the country in Colorado. We knew a family with adorable little boys and basically, they were the only ones who ever trick-or-treated at our house. Now we live in a city and I’m looking forward to kids knocking on the door again.

I have great memories of our boys and their Halloween costumes: boxers, a pumpkin, an Indian, a hockey player, a fireman, a pirate, a spider, a puppy, a football player — all of them were hand made except for one year when Ben wanted to be Steve Irwin and we bought a costume. Of course, even it had the “mom” touch when Ben had me hot glue plastic spiders all over it.

Their costumes had one thing in common — they never wore masks. We always used make up to create a look.

I know that many Christians don’t celebrate Halloween, and we don’t decorate for it or do anything beyond giving out candy. I guess one of the reasons we allowed our children to dress up and to get candy was because it allowed us to see faces we wouldn’t normally see. K-Love radio shared a thought this morning on their Facebook page that actually explained what and why we celebrated Halloween, “Halloween shouldn’t be feared. It’s the one night the world comes to your door. What an opportunity to be the Light on a dark night!”

It is true that what man has meant for evil, God can use for good. He can redeem anything — and anyone.

Even when it isn’t Halloween, there are many in this world who hide behind masks. The masks are many and varied. Some wear masks of anger, greed, or hatred. Others show humility, kindness, or caring. But if they are masks rather than the true character of a person, they are still false — even if they are positive in appearance.

It concerns me that so many people choose to present a false front to the world around them. God has called us to let our light shine. How can we do that if we hide behind an attitude or a behavior that does not reflect Him. Even if the behavior seems positive, if it doesn’t come from the heart, if it doesn’t show who we are — inside, deep in the core of our being, it is a false front, a mask.

When God comes into our life, He starts at the core of our being and begins to change us into the person He knows we can be — the person He made us to be. He strips away the mask and the bitterness, pride, hurt, loss, false-security, and the “stuff” that keeps us from experiencing Him in a real and personal way. Then He starts to build and create and make us into a new person — a new being. When He works in our lives, the masks in our lives become unnecessary because finally, we are who God has made us to be. Even then, He continues to shape and mold and lead and guide. As we live our lives, we become more and more like Him.

I remember watching THE JETSONS as a kid. Do you remember that show? They had video telephones — and to think, we now have Skype and Face Time! In one episode, Jane, the mother received a phone call early in the morning and she pulled out a mask, put it on, and took the call. (Why on earth do I remember that?) The caller did not know that Jane had just cleaned house, or crawled out of bed, or had the measles, or whatever it was that she was hiding — all they saw was the perfect Jane — the face that she presented to the world.

It’s time for us to stop presenting masks; it’s time for God to shine through us — time for the world to see Him as He transforms us into His image.

My mom always told me that my life may be the only Bible that some people will ever read. It’s time to take off the mask and let Him, His love, and His light show in my life. How about you?

Feeling Incompetent

On By mdannels3In Thinking about GodLeave a comment
This beautiful and amazing lighthouse brought sailors to safety and warned them of dangers for years. There is a lighthouse for each of us -- Jesus. He will warn us of danger and bring us to a place of safety, acceptance, and service. Aren't you glad?
This beautiful and amazing lighthouse brought sailors to safety and warned them of dangers for years. There is a lighthouse for each of us — Jesus. He will warn us of danger and bring us to a place of safety, acceptance, and service. Aren’t you glad?

 

Recently, at a job interview, I was instructed to describe myself as an employee. I responded by saying things like, capable, competent, responsible, hard-working, creative, and a quick study.

Another question at a job interview asked me to describe my personality. My answer included things like cheerful, optimistic, friendly, outgoing, kind, and caring.

Then I went to work at a call center where I am one of 1500 agents receiving, answering, and servicing phone calls.

Don’t get me wrong, I am THANKFUL to have a job — thankful for God’s provision.

But I hate the job.

Granted, I’ve done it for three days outside of training. It will get better — I have to believe that and I know that it is true. However, right now, I am tired of coming home in tears everyday, feeling like I’m too stupid to do a job that I did twenty years ago. Yes, systems change and processes are different. Yes, I’ve been in a classroom with young people for fifteen years. Yes, I much prefer to move around, to have flexibility, and to be allowed to invent, create, and share a part of myself with those I’m helping.

But I’m a professional and I CAN DO THIS.

But I’m a PROFESSIONAL and now I’m working in jeans and a t-shirt.

Seems silly doesn’t it? I use to beg my boss for a “jeans” days and now I can wear them all the time.

And I hate it.

I don’t feel like a professional. I don’t feel competent. I don’t feel capable.

Enough of the pity party!

I heard a story once. Satan was having a yard sell. He was selling many of his tools because he’d gotten new and improved versions. He decided to clean out his tool shed and was selling things like greed, lust, anger, exhaustion, selfishness, and jealousy. On another table he had placed the tools of poor self-image, wealth, incompetence, fear, lack of resources, and depression.

His last table held one tool only. It had the highest price and yet it looked like the most innocuous of all of the tools. When asked why this one was valued so highly, Satan smiled and answered, “This was my most valuable tool. It worked better than any other and all I had to do was plant a small seed. Then I would stand back and let the person take over. This small seed did all of my work for me — with it I could destroy a church, a family, a good intention, or a positive work.

“You see, with this tool, I could plant a seed and destroy a person — or at the very least, I could destroy his or her effectiveness. This is the tool of discouragement. If a person is discouraged I’ve won. I don’t have to do anything else because the discouraged person will destroy himself.”

How about you? Ever felt incompetent? Incapable? Self-doubting? Discouraged?

God can pull those seeds of discouragement that are at the root of that feeling. He can and He wants to.

When seeds of discouragement take root, we become weak, angry, and ineffective.

And then, Satan wins.

We can’t let him; he hasn’t earned it.

Yes, it’s a small battle and we KNOW that our Heavenly Father will win the war, but we don’t want to let Satan have even a small, teeny, tiny victory. God can make the difference.

I will be honest and tell you that I am diligently seeking other employment and my supporting, loving, encouraging, and hugging husband has told me I don’t have to go back to work at the call center. I’m spending the weekend praying and I may not.

Either way, I’ve asked God to remove those seeds of discouragement that Satan planted…I’ve let them grow long enough.

In the meanwhile, please pray for us that God will pull those discouragement weeds and will place both of us in jobs that use our abilities and skills. Pray that we will both find jobs where we can minister to others and be effective in our community — not only in our ministry in the church, but in our neighborhood and our town as well.

Let’s also look around us for those people who are fighting discouragement and pray for them. And then, let’s encourage them.

 

Distance

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about RelationshipsLeave a comment
The detail in the close view -- near to where we are -- serves as a frame for the colors and layers that are in the distance. Each contributes to the beauty of the picture just as relationships -- distant and near -- add to our lives.
The detail in the close view — near to where we are — serves as a frame for the colors and layers that are in the distance. Each contributes to the beauty of the picture just as relationships — distant and near — add to our lives.

It was bound to happen. After all, we now live nearly 1000 miles from the place that was home for 12 1/2 years. I just didn’t expect it to happen so soon — and I didn’t expect it to make me so sad.

The distance has been magnified by circumstances. We’ve been in Wisconsin for nearly two months. In the past ten days, my dad (we use to live less than an hour away from him) had surgery, a dear friend’s son was in the hospital (I worked with his Mom), and our son became ill (we were 15 miles away). I’ve felt the distance — the literal distance — between us in profound ways. On the other hand, since we’ve been here, my father-in-law was hospitalized and our nephew-in-law became ill and is hospitalized. Granted, my second dad and our nephew are five hours away — but it isn’t 18 hours.

As a teenager I was told to bloom where I was planted. I’ve always tried to do just that. But really, what does that mean? Does it mean settling in and becoming a part of a community? Could it be working hard at the job you have and doing it to the best of your ability? Is it simply learning, as Paul said, “to be content in whatever situation wherein I find myself?”

Wherever we’ve lived we have “settled in” and made a life for ourselves, for our children, and we’ve ministered. We’ve interacted with communities. We’ve found jobs and worked hard to do them well; we’ve made friends and been involved in their lives. We’ve tried to show others who Jesus is. As we all do, we’ve loved people and we’ve been blessed to be loved by amazing, wonderful people.

When you move away from those special folks, it’s hard. Honestly, I make friends fairly easily. But it is still hard to be away from old friends, to be away from family members. And it is especially hard to be away from them when they are hurting.

Distance is difficult. It isn’t impossible to overcome, but it’s hard. In the world in which we live we are able to remain connected in so many more ways than ever before. I don’t “tweet” (I’m too verbose), but I do Facebook. I use Instagram, email, text, and of course I use the phone. Oh yeah, did I say that I blog? For the past seven weeks, we’ve been trying to communicate and stay in touch, but we didn’t have internet — we’re back on line and it’s just in time. The distance seems smaller for the simple reason that I can pick up my computer and check Facebook and email everyday once again.

I understand the concerns that people have about the overuse of technology — I have many of those same concerns. However, today, living 1000 miles away from Dad, Nate, and Carson, I’m thankful to be able to know what is going on in their lives.

Distance means we have to work harder to stay involved in each others lives. It means that the relationships are different — but they aren’t gone; they’re not lost.

As a fourth grade Girl Scout I sang a song that said, “Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other’s gold.” That’s where we are. We are living a great distance from many people we love and care for. Yet, there are amazing  “new” people that we’ve already learned to love and care for. They are silver; they are gold. They are treasures in our lives — distance or not, we treasure the gifts of the people that God has brought into our lives.

In fact, in spite of the distance — or perhaps because of it, I can join the Apostle Paul in saying these words to my friends and family who are everywhere from Alaska to Vietnam and all points in between:  “I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now,6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. 7 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart.” (Philippians 1:3-7a, NIV)

 

A boy from Iowa…

On By mdannels3In Thinking about God, Thinking about Love, Thinking about Relationships2 Comments
Me and my man! Galveston, Texas in February 2014
Me and my man!
Galveston, Texas in February 2014

….met a girl from Colorado

….in New Mexico….

And the opening chapter of our love story was written.

He was tall, red headed — balding, wore a red beard and drove a fast car. I followed him around, flirting, for seven months before he asked me out. It was about time. He worked nights; I worked days. We fell in love over his cancelled vacation due to a terrible snow storm, and my week off work recuperating from a car accident, picnic lunches he would bring to my office, late night phone calls during his “lunch hour”, and sight seeing excursions. Six weeks after our first date, he asked me to marry him and I had the wisdom to say yes. Six months later we said, “I do,” and the next chapter of our story began.

John, aka my Mr. Gorgeous, is my best friend. The hair — a bit more sparse now — and beard are both liberally sprinkled with a salty white. During the past twenty-eight years, we’ve raised three boys, attended and graduated from college, pastored three churches, lived in five different states, gone on three cruises, and traveled extensively. I wish you could know him. Some of you do, I know, but not all of you. So, please allow me to take a few lines and introduce to you my man.

He would pile three boys in a recliner and read one story for each son when it was suppose to be one bedtime story. John taught the boys how to eat an Oreo — dunked in milk, of course. When mom had trouble getting the boys to understand the importance of cleaning their room, he allowed the boys to each choose one toy and then boxed up all the others. They each lived with only one toy for a whole week. Cleaning moved up on their priority scale after that. He sold his own things to make sure that his family had what it needed, and sometimes what it simply wanted.  When I shared my dream of being a teacher, he made a way for me to go to school and complete my teaching credentials.

His sense of humor is one of my favorite things. He can take almost any situation and find something to laugh about. In my opinion, that is a valuable trait. Kindness, quiet leadership, strength, and generosity are all marks of his character.

As a follower of Christ, John goes where God leads and he chooses to serve the Lord with his whole heart.

He is a sacrificial, caring, loving, and Godly man.

And he is my best friend.

Today is his birthday and our anniversary; I’m thankful for my boy from Iowa and I’m glad he went to New Mexico to marry this Colorado girl!

Enough

On By mdannels3In Thinking about GodLeave a comment
The view east from Billy Creek in Western Colorado.
The view east from Billy Creek in Western Colorado.

I’ve been thinking about that little word, “enough.”

What is enough? Who is enough?

I am concerned that in this world people feel as though they are never enough. Bear with me…this may take a meandering journey to get to my point.

I have watched people who are confident and capable, but somewhere in their lives, they reach the conclusion that they are not good enough — or content enough — or something enough. I believe that Satan finds an area in a person’s life in which he or she feels distress or some kind of struggle. And with that, Satan tortures them and convinces them that they are not enough.

How many people around us everyday feel as though they are not enough? 

A friend of mine raised two beautiful daughters. When her girls were small, her grandmother expressed concern that my friend and her husband told their girls that they were pretty and smart and kind…etc. Her grandmother was apparently concerned that the girls would become conceited and self-absorbed. Thankfully, my friends continued to raise their girls based on their belief that having a decent self-esteem was not a bad thing.

Our sons grew up knowing their strengths and hearing that we thought they were handsome, had talents and abilities, that we saw their kindness and acknowledged their good choices. However, they also had hard knocks. They failed; they messed up; they got in trouble. Even in their failure, they seldom doubted that they were “enough” for us. I say seldom because teenagers are notoriously hard on themselves and our sons, like all teens, had moments of self-doubt.

I see children every day who are compared to others and believe that they don’t measure up – some adults feel the same way. More than anything, I want those children (and adults) to know that they are enough and that they do not need to live up to anyone around them or to replace anyone else.

As an aunt and a teacher I’ve listened to girls who feel as though they are never enough. 

  • Not pretty enough.
  • Not thin enough.
  • Not athletic enough.

And then there are the boys who believe that they aren’t enough.

  • Not smart enough.
  • Not tall enough.
  • Not tough enough.

But what about the adults around us? There are many who feel that they are not enough, or that what they have isn’t enough.

  • The house isn’t nice enough.
  • The bank account isn’t full enough.
  • The job isn’t prestigious enough.
  • The home isn’t happy enough.
  • There isn’t time enough.

We all struggle with self-esteem and control issues, but real “self-esteem” and control comes from knowing WHO we are and to WHOM we belong.

Okay, let’s head for home plate here…

God made you; you are enough. 

Are you perfect? Am I? No. We are not perfect, but God made us as His unique creation and that, my friends, is enough. He asks and expects that we will seek Him and in doing so, we will learn and grow and become all He desires us to be for His glory.

Changes

On By mdannels3In Thinking about God, Thinking about Relationships2 Comments
Our Church -- the place where we have ministered for more than a decade.
Our Church — the place where we have ministered for more than a decade.

Changes . . .

…are hard.

…are good.

…are necessary.

…are here.

Twelve and a half years ago, we packed our family and all of our belongings then we moved to Colorado to begin ministry at a small church in a beautiful town near the bottom of the World’s Largest Flattop Mountain, The Grand Mesa.

When we arrived, our boys were in third, seventh, and eighth grades. We were young…sort of. Our church was small, but loving. We moved in on a snowy December Friday and began our ministry two days later. In January, John started a job and in April, he found a better one — one that he worked for nearly twelve years. Marylouise took over a multi-grade classroom at a private school and later, found a job with the local school district.

We settled into routines and the boys made friends. My Dad and second mom live 40 miles away and my sister is about 18 miles from our home and we enjoyed being near family. We created a home and we built a life.

The church we came to pastor had five retired pastors as a part of the congregation. Let’s just say that our church was filled with several “experienced” Christians. We loved them and they learned to love us. The ministry in the church was not easy, but it was blessed and the people were precious children of God.

Time passed.

The boys grew, our vocations changed — but still they allowed us to minister, people moved, our congregation changed.

During the twelve and a half years we’ve spent here in Colorado, we’ve raised our children, loved people, worked hard, and served the Lord. We pray that we’ve touched lives as others have touched ours. We’ve built a life in this place and leaving this life we’ve come to love is hard. But it is time.

It is difficult to help others understand that when God says it is time to move on that that is what you must do. We live our lives based on one premise… obedience to God’s call is nonnegotiable. Walking in faith is part of that choice, even when it doesn’t seem to make sense.

You see, we have a good “life” here. John was just promoted. I teach in a good school. Logically, this is the place where we should remain, yet we cannot stay.

Leaving means we are both walking away from jobs we enjoy. It means that our small church will be without a pastor for a time and we are sad for that reality. We will be leaving a church family with whom we have ministered, prayed, cried, celebrated, mourned, and who we love. Leaving will cause us to be without our children near us for the first time in twenty-seven years. Not being in this community means that we will not get to see our dear friends. While moving will bring us closer in proximity to John’s family, it will move us away from my parents and sister. Even so, I am assured that as we leave this place, He has a plan for those who remain and He will reveal it to them just as He revealed His plan for our lives to us.

Were we to make a list of the “pros and cons” for moving away, it would be close, but one factor has more weight than any of the others. Very simply, God is leading and we must go.

Will we have regrets? Perhaps. But we will never regret going where God is calling. Early in our marriage we learned that the best place to be is always in the middle of God’s will. For that reason alone, we are moving to Wisconsin.

Our new church family has been hurt and it needs pastors who will love each of them. We will love them — we already do.

So, we will be saying good-bye to family, friends, and even to one of our dogs, Zoey, who will remain in Colorado. We will buy parkas, snow boots, and snow tires; we will build a new life in the northern mid-west.

Changes are hard and scary, but they can be good. This will not be easy, but God has promised that His calling is His enabling. We believe Him and we trust Him.

My Heart is Full

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about Relationships4 Comments

A burnished copper sunset rests upon the Grand Mesa
A burnished copper sunset rests upon the Grand Mesa

My heart is full

Of my best friend, the handsome, adorable, caring, sexy, and loving guy

Mr. Gorgeous, my man, my husband and my partner

My heart is full

Of the skinny, tadpole-like boy with the dark hazel eyes

Who stole my heart with his first whimpering cry and grasping starfish hands

My heart is full

Of the teeny, tiny one who was in a hurry to begin his own symphony

Who has shown that a rough launch doesn’t always mean a rough landing

My heart is full

Of the laughter of the youngest who still slaps his knees when he laughs

And whose grin hides behind the bushy red beard before another epic prank unfolds

My heart is full

Of the daughter we never knew who left us before we held her

But whose promise, left unfilled, has created a hole in our family story

My heart is full

Of the daughter we DO know, the chosen one of our son

The hard working beauty who brings class and style to our red neck family

My heart is full

Of a family – immediate and extended – devoted to each other in good times and bad

Who support and share, love and care, and create a safe harbor in which to heal

My heart is full

Of classrooms filled with children – laughing, accepting, and learning

Challenging a tired teacher and making me work harder than I ever dreamed possible

My heart is full

Of the wonders around me: burnished copper sunsets, soaring snowcapped peaks

Precious friends, meandering rivers, raging oceans, lavender deserts, and mirror-like lakes

My heart is full

Of rattling windows, cups of coffee, stormy nights, family dinners, meadowlark calls

Laughter, story telling, cuddly puppies, working, sleeping, sharing and praying together

Truly,

My heart is full

They Called Me 4-Eyes

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I was in fourth grade when my long-awaited glasses finally arrived. During the summer between third and fourth grade, my dad and I went to Denver. He had a doctor’s appointment and I had an eye doctor’s appointment. I picked out my glasses, we went to the Denver Zoo, Dad went to the doctor, and we headed home to Montrose. Months — it felt like years — later, my glasses came in the mail. They were tortoise shell ovals — very hip. I was immensely thankful for them, I could finally see the chalk board where Mrs. Stokes would write tests. I had failed a few timed tests already that year because I couldn’t see the questions or problems. Of course, the usual nicknames came with the glasses — they called me 4-Eyes. Since I could finally see, I was fine with that.

My sister, Gayla, got her first pair of glasses when she was around the same age. They say that when she first put them on, she was amazed by what she could see. The fact that trees had leaves that could actually be seen as individual items amazed her — and made our parents cry. Imagine going through life not seeing, but believing that you were.

How many times do I go through life believing that I can see, but not truly doing so?

First of all, I am oblivious to much that is around me. I am aware of what should be there and because of that, I will often miss the “little” changes. In 8th grade English, my teacher asked us to write down what we saw as we looked out our window or walked out of our house that morning. Every morning, I did the dishes and could see the adobe hills and Buck Horn — a mountain across the valley from our home. He read it, then looked at me and told me I hadn’t been very observant. Apparently that morning the valley and mountains were covered by clouds. I had missed it. Since then I’ve tried to be more observant, but I am not always very successful. If I am oblivious to the little “things” am I also oblivious to the “big” things?

Then of course there are the wonders that surround me — I tend to take them for granted. Just as I was oblivious to that morning so many years ago, I often take the beauty in people and in this amazing area where I live for granted. We’ve learned to love going on cruises. Because we are in the tropical areas for such a short time, we soak it in. We savor our time, take hundreds of pictures (I think it was 1300 on the last cuise), we memorize smells and flavors, we create memories. Later, on those cold Colorado winter days, I pull out a memory of a tropical beach and I enjoy it. In doing so, do I forget to treasure the cool, clear, crisp moments, the mountains, the snow fall, the puppy, the house, and all of the wonders that surround me?

When I’m thinking like this, I have to ask myself if I truly see the people who are in my life. Do I see their hurts and fears? Am I able to notice when they are overwhelmed and in need of an encouraging word? An amazing lady from our church saw Mr. Gorgeous at the lumber yard earlier this week. While she was there, she gave him some encouraging words that were an incredible blessing to both of us. When I am around people, do I truly understand their needs? Naturally I have to wonder if, when I see their concerns, I am willing to help? And, have I allowed enough time in my schedule to be available to them when they have a need? God did not intend us to fill our days so full with doing things that we are unable to set aside our “schedule” to be available to one of His children. My mom use to say that we shouldn’t be so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good. This starts, I believe, with seeing those around us — and then, being available to them to meet their needs . . . and to allow them to reach into my life and perhaps, to encourage and bless me as well.

One last thought, with my “4-eyes,” do I see God? Do I see Him in this world to which I am often oblivious? Do I see Him in the amazing wonders that I take for granted? Am I able to recognize Him in the smile, the words, the actions, and the lives of the people around me? Do I see Him — truly see Him? He is working in this world and in our lives. I need to make sure that my eyes are open and that I notice what He does and how He is at work.

I’ve discovered that when I’m frustrated or confused or sad, I have a tendency to be oblivious about God’s work and I take what He does for me, in me, and through me for granted. I need to put on my spiritual glasses and truly SEE God. He blesses, provides, encourages, and loves me. How can I not see that?

 

 

 

Family Ties

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about Love, Thinking about RelationshipsLeave a comment
The gang's all here! Charlotte, Gayla, Frank, and Marylouise
The gang’s all here!
Charlotte, Gayla, Frank, and Marylouise

 

I have two sisters — had a brother. I am exceptionally proud of all of them. In many ways they are as different as night and day…in some ways, they are carbon copies of each other.

Charlotte is 7 years older than I am; Gayla is 6 years older, and Frank was 4 years older. I remember watching them and being jealous because they always seemed so close when we were growing up. They were close, in part, because they had the same mother, a different mother than I have. Their mother died when my brother was a baby. My mom was their stepmother. Also, considering that the girls were eleven months apart, it makes sense that the two of them would be close. It also makes sense that those two would fight…and they did.

Charlotte as the oldest naturally took charge. I think that Gayla thought they  were close enough in age that she should be in charge too. I’m not sure, but I think that may have been an issue of contention in their teen years. Charlotte was the one who drove the tractor for Daddy, “babysat” the younger kids, was in drill team and journalism. She is a gifted artist. Her natural ability was developed through art training that she took as a correspondence program, and later in school. When she would babysit, she protected me from my brother. Out of high school, she went to Oklahoma to college for a year and after that, she joined the Army. She raised an amazing daughter and worked hard to complete her schooling. My impression of her when I was little kid was that she was tough as nails — and she was. She was also the artist who created many Halloween costumes for her baby sister.

Gayla was not the take charge type. She has done more “taking charge” in the last ten years than I really remember her doing before — circumstances change us. I remember several times as a kid hearing her say, “I’m second from the top and third from the bottom.” She was quieter than the rest of us. Her dimples are one of my favorite things about her. She is a peacemaker — many things that bothered me seemed to run off her like water off a duck’s back. I know now that even though she didn’t act bothered, she was. Gayla is the sweet one of us, and we all know it. If you grew up in my era, you know who the Champagne Lady on the Lawrence Welk Show was; I always thougth that Gayla sang better than she did. I was right. When she graduated, she too joined the Army. I love to travel with her, even though I MUST give her a hard time about stopping all the time to take pictures.

Frank was the only boy — surrounded by sisters. He did the outdoor chores, competed in athletics and was a member the Navy Junior ROTC in high school. He was artistic and he could sing well — but didn’t want ANYONE to know it. Even as a teen, he was a problem solver who took a cheap, broken calculator, disassembled it, located the problem, and fixed it. Then, he gave it to me; I used it several years. He served in the Army and worked as a mechanic. His delight was found in his son and daughter. Life took him to Alaska twenty years before he died and we only saw him a few times. Phone calls helped, but not enough.

Had I written this blog 12 1/2 years ago, I would have had less to say about family ties. After living in a community near Gayla for all these years, I’ve realized more than ever how deeply our family ties run — and how incredibly important they are. She and I have been blessed with time together to create new memories and share our hearts. The other ties in the family are strong and important as well — even though they are different. In fact, after our brother died, I realized even more how very different our relationships with each other are — they are separated and differentiated by time and experience and location.

As for my sisters, I love them both and admire each of them for very different reasons beyond the fact that we are family.

Charlotte has overcome immense hurts and obstacles. She has allowed God to have control of her heart and life, to lead her, to heal her, and to give her a point of ministry. She exhibits the spiritual gifts of helping and giving; in fact, at two different points in the life of our family we “took refuge” in her home.

On the other hand, Gayla is the mom. She cans, cooks incredibly delicious and nutritious meals, bakes bread, gardens, landscapes, sews, pans for gold, collects rocks, cares for her grandchildren and husband. She has always been available to any family member who lives close — and as much as possible, to those who live at a distance. When our preemie son was born, she came to Albuquerque from Colorado to help.

So this walk down memory lane is to remind us that although relationships take investment and time, the investment in loving, caring, and sharing with family is never lost. Byrlene left home when I was 11, Gayla when I was 12, and Frank when I was 14. My parents were divorced when I was 12. As a result, I was in and out of “our” home and in and out of their lives — just as they were in and out of mine. By the way, don’t get me started on the idea of “1/2 brothers and sisters” — it’s rubbish. We are family because we are family — by blood yes, but more than that, by love and commitment. I didn’t understand that we had different mothers until I was 11. Even then, we were family and that was all that mattered. Had it not been for years of proximity, we would not have had time to build the family ties — to develop our relationships.

The reality of life is that it takes us in many directions. Everyone knows that things change, but when things change and others aren’t near to go through the changes with us, it may be difficult to see and understand where the other is coming from. Communication is the key to understanding. Respectful communication that welcomes input from all parties. Conversations that involve listening as well as speaking. These take time and honestly, they can be scheduled, but I am not certain that forced discussions are truly beneficial unless all parties “buy in” to that time.

Telephones, Facebook, emails, and texting will tell only what we want others to know. Vulnerability is limited — emotions can be hidden, hurts can be buried. While this kind of communication is better than nothing, it has limitations that must be acknowledged.

Honestly, I love Facebook. It gives me the opportunity to stay connected with people who I would not otherwise. I have “friends” in Europe and Africa, the US and Mexico — and I love it. I “talk” with former students, people from churches we have pastored, high school classmates — even though I only attended school with them one year, cousins, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and friends who are important to me. We all know though, that most of these “conversations” are surface and do not truly delve deeply into the heart, the emotions, or the true relationship. They are better than no contact — but they should not be our only source for relationship development.

Relationships are a gift from God. Through them we see another side of Him. Families are where we learn to care for people, to invest in them, to know them. It is in the safe, welcoming relationships of family that we come to understand how to accept others. In addition, these kinds of relationships create the climate in which we discover that are able to forgive hurts — intentional or otherwise — and to minimize the impact that pain from these hurts can have in our lives.

I come from a  “huggy” family. We see each other — we hug each other; we leave — we hug again. Yes, even if we are in Walmart. When I married Mr. Gorgeous, I took that “hugginess” with me into my new family where I got more than one strange look. A few years later, my Father-in-law thanked me for bringing hugs to the family. After one particular visit, he hugged me, thanked me for being a “huggy” person, and told me he wished they had done more hugging before I came along. A hug  is that touch that says, “You are family and I love you,” it makes most situations bearable. And, it reminds us that we are home.

Whether our “ties” come through our family or through other relationships, the time invested is worthwhile and necessary. Family ties — relationships — precious, irreplaceable, valuable. Worth the effort and worth the time.

 

#hugs, #family, #brothersandsisters, #relationships