Category: Thinking about God

Remembering to be Grateful

On By mdannels3In Thinking about God3 Comments
Golden Aspen trees remind me of Autumn which always leads me to thoughts of Thanksgiving.
Golden Aspen trees remind me of Autumn which always leads me to thoughts of Thanksgiving.

It’s a bit of a habit now. Honestly, I started my “30 days of Gratitude” because of Facebook. It wasn’t my idea — I copied from a friend, but it has been an amazing blessing and a reminder to be grateful.

A couple of years ago, I made a point to sit down at my computer each day during November and list something for which I was thankful. I’m doing it again this year, although I am adding pictures to go with my words. There are times when each of us needs to take stock of our situation and seek to find the good things. And there are times when we need to review the hard times, see our growth through the difficulties, and celebrate that good can come from struggle.

This year I want to move beyond the “simple” list that most of us recite when asked to share the things for which we are grateful. The list of “simple” things includes things like family, home, food, and friends. While I am thankful for each of these things in general, I want to move beyond the “general.” I need to get to the specifics, to the life changing, to the profound, to the holy.

God blessed me with the family that I prayed for. An amazing man welcomed me into his life and his heart. He protects, comforts, provides, encourages, and cherishes me. I always wanted to be feel cherished, and God answered the desire of my heart. Being close as a family is vitally important to me. We come to understand the family of God by living in an earthly family. I wanted my children to experience a Godly father and a home that was dedicated to serving the Lord. God allowed that to be reflected in our home. I always hoped that someday I would feel protected. Our sons have learned to be protective of me by watching their dad. Not only are they protective, but their actions show thought and care. I am grateful for each one.

I was raised with that good old puritan work ethic. Staying busy is important… and fulfilling. Work is a treasure. Whether it is the work of cleaning our home, planning and preparing meals, preparing a sermon, or teaching a class (or six of them) of 25 rowdy sixth graders, I enjoy what I do. Bad days definitely come, but every task that has been set before me has value and I find joy in the work. But I am also thankful for those other jobs that I have had: babysitter, store clerk, janitor, secretary, recreation director, day care worker, and receptionist. Every opportunity, every challenge has taught me something. I’ve learned diligence, that hard work is its own reward, that dirty dishes mean we had food to eat, and dirty clothes are evidence of God’s provision and busy days. I am grateful for work — whatever form it may take because it means God trusted me to be His hands and feet in this world.

Cooking is a hobby for me. I love to experiment and thanks to the Food Network, I’m getting pretty creative. Not everything has been successful (please don’t ask about the elk stew), but most things have been interesting — at least. God made so much bounty for us to enjoy. In California, we had grapes, apricots, tangerines, persimmons, and pomegranates all growing in our yard. (Honestly, I still can’t stand persimmons!) Asparagus grew on the ditch banks around our farm when I was growing up. My grandmother would fix it with a white sauce and boiled eggs. Yum. These days I love it hot off the grill. Spinach — fresh, green, crisp, delicious. Squash — zucchini, butternut, yellow, patty pan… all of it tasty and nutritious. And now, we can go to the store and when the price is right, we can buy almost anything we want. How blessed we are. God’s provision is varied, abundant, and amazing. Gratitude is the only appropriate response to this bounty.

Like most people in this world, I don’t like pain, feeling left out, being betrayed, losing the people I love, or struggling financially. But it is in situations like these that I see God at work. He heals pain, helps me to belong, and reminds me that I am His. God brings friends into my life, mends relationships, and provides for every need. More than anything, I am grateful that He loves me, that He chose me, that I am His.

Would you do me a favor? Look deeply into your heart, review your life, and consider the things for which you are most grateful. I challenge you to look beyond the surface to identify the life changing, the profound, the holy. Celebrate these gifts in your life; and during this month of Thanksgiving, be grateful.

Some Goodbyes Are Harder Than Others

On By mdannels3In Thinking about God, Thinking about LoveLeave a comment
A memorial candle lit in honor of our daughter Jessie. This was lit by my niece Pam at a memorial service in Alaska honoring the infants and young children who have died in our family.
A memorial candle lit in honor of our daughter Jessie. This was lit by my niece Pam at a memorial service in Alaska honoring the infants and young children who have died in our family.

For example:

  • Goodbye to the unborn daughter knowing you’ll never hear her laugh
  • Goodbye to a nephew and a great niece who each lived less than a day
  • Goodbye to the boy in 4th grade who flipped his bike, going through a plate glass window
  • Goodbye to the star teen athlete with so much potential
  • Goodbye to a son’s college roommate who died while working on his car
  • Goodbye to a nephew in his mid-thirties who fought a valiant fight against health problems for much of his life
  • Goodbye to my childhood babysitter and adopted “Mom”
  • Goodbye to a dear friend’s mother who lost her battle with cancer
  • Goodbye to an amazing man, a member of our congregation, who had been a prayer warrior for us
  • Goodbye to my 100 year old Grandmother

Life is filled with hellos and good byes. Some goodbyes are harder than others. We say goodbye to people everyday. It could be something simple like, “Catch you tomorrow,” or something more difficult like, “I promise, we’ll see each other again.” Then there are goodbyes that are more “permanent”, the goodbyes that we say at a funeral. These are the ones I am thinking about today. And we must admit, that with them, some are harder than others.

I’ve attended two funerals in five weeks. The first, a little over a month ago, was my 100 year old Grandmother’s funeral. Although her death was not a shock, it was hard. She was an amazing, Godly woman who loved me. And I loved her. I lived with my mom when I met and began dating Mr. Gorgeous, but Grandma was the first person I told about my feelings for him. A few years later, she admitted that when she received my letter telling her about Mr. Gorgeous she began praying for him because she was confident he was going to be my husband. I always had great confidence in her prayers. I miss her. However, I would not call her back to this world for anything.

Last week, I attended a memorial service for a 17 year old, star athlete. He was an amazing young man. I taught him a few years ago. A gifted communicator, he wrote with amazing clarity. Relationships were his forte. He drew people to him and made them feel valued. As an 8th grader, he saw a few 6th grade girls who hadn’t been asked to dance at the fall dance — he and his buddy asked two of them to dance and these gentlemen got down on their knees to dance with these girls who had, until that moment, felt left out. Last year, he lead our football team to a state championship and he won a first place medal in high jump at the state track meet. Character. He was filled with character. He died as a result of a tragic accident and saying goodbye to him was hard.

Every loss causes pain. It is a risk that we take. Loving someone means we are risking pain. We love; we lose; we hurt. Yet, we risk that pain because loving someone and having that person be a part of our life is worth it. Each person we love enriches our life. Going through pain can cause us to grow. We can become stronger because we’ve experienced hurt.

Some goodbyes hurt less than others. Losing someone with a ton of potential is harder in many ways than losing a person who lived a long, full life. When we are confronted with these losses that are unexpected or that are painful, we wonder why. God can handle our questions. It’s okay to ask God why — it’s even okay to shout, “Why?” I wondered why our daughter didn’t get to be a part of our family. I asked God why. I was broken-hearted when our amazing nephew died and when my childhood babysitter passed away. I felt lost when our prayer warrior friend was no longer there to call for support, and now that I can no longer send my Grandmother a letter. I am confused why an amazing athlete with a strong testimony has gone home. And I wonder why. Yes, some goodbyes ARE harder than others.

I am grateful for these people and others to whom I have said goodbye. Their investment in my life, the hope they’ve brought to me, the dreams for a better tomorrow, the warmth and acceptance…the love. Caring for them — and being cared for BY them — was certainly worth the risk of loss. Definitely worth the reality of saying “goodbye”.

 

 

When I Grow Up I Want to Be…

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about LoveLeave a comment

DSCN9278

When asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, my answers went something like this:

  • A nurse
  • A pediatrician
  • Teacher
  • The first female Astronaut (Sally Ride flew with NASA when I was in first grade, so this came off my list.)
  • The first woman president of the USA
  • A lawyer
  • A travel agent
  • A stewardess

And then I stopped make a list. Because somewhere between being asked for the first time and age 10 or so, I knew what I really wanted to be. I wanted to be a wife. I wanted to be a mom.

Yes, I still wanted to be a teacher or a doctor or a nurse or a lawyer — but even more than these noble careers, I wanted the harder job too. I wanted to have a husband who loved me and who believed that I would make his life better, simply by being a part of it — just like he does mine. I wanted to be a mom — to have children and love them, make them feel safe and protected, and help them to become men (or women) of God.

Then life happened. I was 24 and had officially been called an old maid. After all, if your brother calls you that, it has to be official — doesn’t it? I decided it was time to start seriously looking for a handsome guy. So I looked and I looked and I looked. Finally, I did what I should have done in the first place and I talked to God about finding me a husband. His answer was simple, “Patience, daughter.” And so, I worked hard at waiting. That may seem like an oxymoron, but sometimes sitting and waiting is harder than working. I moved from Colorado back to New Mexico, started in a singles group at a new church and asked God to show me His will.

We had a camp out and I saw a really cute guy — reddish hair, beard, tall, great eyes, and he could sing. Several items on my list of desirable characteristics had just been checked. I flirted. He ignored me for seven months. Finally, I gave up on the cute guy. On Tuesday of the week I “gave up” on Mr. Gorgeous, he called and asked me on a date. He worked nights from 5 pm to 2 am and I worked days from 8 am to 5 pm. We “dated” on the phone during his dinner breaks at 10 pm and during my lunch break when he would bring me a picnic lunch. On the Saturdays that he was off, we went to tourist spots and got to know each other. Six weeks after our first date he asked me to marry him and six months later, I did.

Eleven months after the wedding, our oldest son, Nate, was born; seventeen months later, Phillip joined the family, and three years later we welcomed Ben.

I am exactly what I wanted to be — a wife and mom. I’ve been a wife for 27 years as of this week — and a mom for 26. It’s an amazing life; one for which I am truly grateful! I married the man of my dreams, our boys are men of character — and our daughter-in law is an amazing woman.

I am so incredibly blessed to have been given the desires of my heart.

Always the Mom…

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about LoveLeave a comment
The boys...oops, the men
The boys…oops, the men

My “boys” aren’t boys anymore — they are men. They range from 21 to 26 years of age.

I’ve always wanted our family to be close, and for the most part we are. Family is one of the things that I value highly. When we would leave the boys for a few hours — or a day or two, the last thing we would say was, “Remember, you love each other!” I know that my friends are precious and special and I am grateful for them. But family…they are my breath, my heart, they matter more than I can ever express.

One night last week I knew that one of our sons was struggling. Decisions needed to be made; provision needed to be found. As I went to bed, my heart was broken — I could barely breath because of my concern for the child I love. I began to pray. I prayed and prayed. This child, this man, was hurting and since I will always be the mom, I was hurting with him. I prayed some more. Suddenly, as if a light switch had been flipped to the on position, I was at peace. I prayed some more — this time thanking God for meeting the need in whatever way He chooses. I thanked Him for this young man and his brothers, for our daughter-in-love, for my amazing husband, and for our family.

Is my boy’s path clear? Are all of the questions answered? No. But I’m the mom and I will pray on.

After this amazing prayer time, a couple of days later we were at a restaurant — all six of us. Mr. Gorgeous and I, along with two of the kids, were having a grown-up, mature, adult-style conversation. Suddenly, my mom’s ears began to pick up the sound of discontent. (Moms — I know you get this!) I tuned out the adult conversation and began listening to the other end of the table. Really? Seriously? These young men were bickering and sniping. They sounded like they did when they were in elementary school! Since I’m the mom, I did the mom thing. I raised my hand in that classic “police officer traffic-must-stop” pose and using my best mom/teacher voice, I said, “That’s enough — we will not be doing this now!” I immediately turned away, back to the conversation I had originally been a part of. Our daughter looked at me, grinned, rolled her eyes, and shook her head. Yes, I’ll always be the mom.

From the highs to the lows — from birth to adulthood — that’s me. I’ll always be the mom. Honestly, next to being a child of the King and the wife of my best friend, being the mom is my favorite!

Yoda

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about GodLeave a comment

ImageA little over four years ago Yoda joined the family. If I’m honest with myself and with you, I will tell you that we got him because Ben, our youngest son, was nearing the end of his sophomore year in high school. I knew that he would be graduating in two short years and I was beginning to fear the feeling of an empty nest. So, when a fellow teacher advertised her puppies on the “classified” board for our school district, I convinced Mr. Gorgeous that we needed a puppy. When Yoda came to us, his name was actually Tipsy. Phillip, our second son, informed us that his name had to be changed immediately. His justification for this was that a puppy named for a level of inebriation could NOT live in a parsonage. We looked at “Tipsy’s” ears, and Yoda became the obvious choice.

Yoda joined the family in April and in July our nephew, Christopher, lost his battle with some severe health issues. With the exception of a baby that we lost years ago, a niece and a nephew both of whom died as infants, we had not lost anyone in the younger generations in our families.  Chris was an usher and rang the church bells at our wedding. Nate, our oldest son, and Chris were close. As you can imagine, our entire family was devastated. Overwhelmed, we began planning a trip to Iowa. Work schedules were adjusted, a van was borrowed from my dad, and our travel arrangements were made. We had one problem — Yoda. We discussed and discussed and finally decided to take the puppy with us. And we did.

All the way to Iowa the van was quiet. We were all lost in our own thoughts, in our memories of Chris. Yoda sensed our sorrow and tried to ease our pain. He went from lap to lap. Sitting with each person for a time, he would help us balance our emotions. Then he would crawl back into his carrier and sleep. I know, I know, he’s a dog — a chihuahua; he likes to be held. Even so, Yoda provided a way for each of us to process our grief and face the sense of loss.

If you are a pet lover, you will understand that in many ways, pets are simply family members. In fact, we have a sign in the kitchen that says, “Dogs are just children with fur.” It’s true — at our house anyway. Yoda is spoiled. He, of course, thinks he’s in charge of our home — maybe he is, a little bit anyway. I started this post because John and I had to run to Walmart and when we got home Yoda did what he always does — he made us feel like his whole day was better because we were home with him. If Yoda acts like this when we come home, can you imagine how our Heavenly Father feels when one of His children comes home? Luke 15:7 (NIV) tells us, “I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”

 

 

Mountains

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Western Colorado
Western Colorado
Pikes Peak
Pikes Peak

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.”

-Psalm 121:1-2, NIV

I love the mountains. I grew up in the midst of the Rockies. They represent strength and power. Their beauty and sheer size overwhelm and bless me. When we were in college, we lived in Colorado Springs, CO. On the weekend, Mr. Gorgeous and I would load our boys in our car and drive into the mountains. Often, we stayed on the main highways and enjoyed the “common”, everyday scenery. It would bring a sense of balance and peace into our lives once again. Sometimes we would take the dirt roads, the ones “less traveled by”, and would find a brand new perspective.

You see, somewhere in my head I have a visual of God creating the earth — I sometimes imagine that he took a lump of clay, molded it into a round orb and then began shaping the earth that we know. I imagine Him pressing His fingers deep into the clay to form the ocean depths. His fingernails may have formed the paths that the rivers would follow. He smoothed the valleys and high plains. And then, I imagine Him pinching and pulling up mounds of clay to form mountains and mountain ranges. You see, He cared about what He made — just as He cares about you and I.

I’ve often been puzzled by those who say there is no God. I don’t understand how anyone can look around them and question His existence. He is the maker of all things. One of my favorite professors, Dr. T.C. Mitchell, talked about God being boss. I like that. It’s simple and meaningful. I understand it and don’t have to question what it means. He’s in charge. The buck stops with Him. I love that security, just as I love the sense of security I feel when I stand on a mountain and enjoy the splendor surrounding me. Or, when I stand in a valley and feel the embrace of His creation. He is boss — and I am safe.

Holding Hands

On By mdannels3In Thinking about God, Thinking about Love2 Comments

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When my boys were small we held hands. I loved it when the boys would take turns holding hands with their daddy and me and they would swing between us! When I was dating Mr. Gorgeous we held hands. When our family prays together before a meal — even today — we hold hands.

The human touch. It is a blessing and a gift. Gary Chapman talks about love languages — one of them is touch. In our family of five, four of us have touch as either a primary or secondary love language. (The other son’s love language is quality time.) I love the fact that a simple touch can express acceptance, love, and caring, Let’s be honest, a touch can also be a negative thing, but that is a topic for another day.

Nearly twenty-seven years ago, Mr. Gorgeous and I became husband and wife. During the months we dated, we often held hands when we were walking, sitting, or praying — we still do. I remember when we talked about holding hands way back then; we decided that no matter how old we were, no matter how long we’d been married, no matter where or when — we would always hold hands. Those many years ago we didn’t know about love languages; but we did know that holding hands was comfortable and gave both of us a sense of security.

Twenty-seven years later, my favorite time to hold hands with my Mr. Gorgeous is when we are praying. God says that whenever two or more are gathered in His name, He is there in the midst of them. Holding hands during prayer reminds us that we have joined together in His name. Our marriage is being lived in His name and in His power. Our ministry is being accomplished in His name and in His power. Our prayer is prayed in His name, It’s hard to be angry at someone when you hold hands and pray together. Holding hands with someone when you are praying is one way of reminding yourself that you are together in His name and that nothing should come between you. He can heal the things that keep us apart. It is true, when a marriage
is built upon God and His principles — anytime you draw closer to God, you draw closer to each other. Hold hands when you pray — you really ought to try it!

Simple Beauty

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DSC02865One of my favorite places in the world is in northern California. It is a headland that juts out into the ocean. Upon it stands a beautiful old lighthouse named for the point — Point Cabrillo. As you walk about the area, heading to the tide pools, or just walking the headland path, you will notice a number of things. You may notice that all of the trees and bushes grow away from the ocean – even the branches stretch inland, away from the sea, pushed there by wind and storms. You will also notice beautiful golden grass – usually about a foot tall. I’ve never seen it green, but the golden hues suit the setting in which it thrives. And there, in the midst of the grass, you will find waxy, dark green leaves and the delicate white blossoms of calla lilies growing wild in this place. Their beauty is not dependent upon being seen – their beauty simply is, because God made it. How amazing is that?

Matthew 6:28-29, NIV
“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.”