Category: Thinking about Love

Missing Mom

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about Love, Thinking about RelationshipsLeave a comment

She’s my Mom. She was my first best friend. She loved me.

My Mom was a spoiler of kids and grandkids. She loved them all. If you were fortunate enough to be related to her by blood or by “adoption”, she took great delight in loving on you and making your world a better place.

On the day that Elvis died, she and I were in a little park in Carlsbad, NM. They had a small lake with peddle boats on it. I had always wanted to ride on one, but Mom was little skeptical. Finally, I convinced her to ride it with me. We did. Then, we found a small coffee shop that looked out over the lake and we were eating ice cream when the radio announced that “the King” was dead. It’s such an arbitrary thing to remember about a day, but what I treasure about that day was Mom, being with her, convincing her to do something that she was uncomfortable with and having fun in the process.

I loved shopping with her. In Albuquerque, there was an old Penney’s store. It had those big old stairs in the center-back of the store that lead up to a section of the store. We were heading downstairs to pay for our purchases when her sandal caught on the trim strip at the edge of the stair and she tripped. She fell down the stairs, head first. I ran down to her, the manager rushed over as did many of the customers. I knew my Mom and knew she was going to be embarrassed. I helped her sit up and the manager wouldn’t let her leave until he “assessed” her condition. As a nurse, that made Mom start to giggle. Bruised, certainly. But her condition, was fine. So she giggled and giggled. She looked at me and I started laughing. We sat on those stairs and laughed for 10 minutes. The manager was so confused, at first he thought she was hysterical, but he finally understood that she must be fine. And she was. We laughed our way to the car and then went home. As we retold the story that night at dinner, my Aunt and my Mom both laughed and laughed until they were crying. That’s how she dealt with situations like that… she laughed.

Mom always said you had a choice, you could laugh or you could cry and she would always choose laughter. Believe me, she did. Her favorite quote was, “Two men looked out through prison bars. One saw mud; one say stars.” Then she’d look at me and say, “Look for the stars.”

I’m looking for stars.

She taught me about Jesus. She took me to church and helped me to find a foundation for living my life in a way that pleased Him and made her proud. Mom taught by example because she loved Jesus first.

As a single mom, she spoiled me more than she should have. As a grandmother, she was out of control — I often threatened to send her to her room. Around her, we always had a sense of belonging and safety, Mug Root Beer, Sundae Cones, cinnamon sugar toast, bread with butter and sugar, dark chocolate frosting on saltines, artichokes, pomegranates, Persian Roll donuts, dilly bars, French fries whenever her grandson said, “Fries!” An N-64 with a couple of games for Christmas. Dinner at their favorite restaurant for their birthday, singing around the piano, gallons of hot chocolate, the SOUND OF MUSIC at the drive in, drives in the mountains and in the desert… so many memories. So many hugs. So many gifts. So much laughter. So much love.

She had been slowing down for a few years, but her heart and spirit never changed.

She loved. She loved deeply. She loved richly and those of us who received her love are incredibly blessed.

I love you, Mom! I miss you. I’ll see you again and when I do, I’ll take one of your hugs.

He Came to Us

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about LoveLeave a comment

I often dream; I seldom remember the dream.

Usually I remember bits and pieces… a snatch of a dream here, a peek there.

But recently, it was different. I woke up and remembered the dream — all of it. It was strange because I dreamed about my Dad. However, when I woke, I wasn’t sad. I felt warm, accepted, and loved.

As I thought about it, I realized that my dream was really a remembrance of an event. It was a dream, but I was remembering a specific event from my college days.

I graduated from high school when I was 17. I went to college in a far away place the next fall. I was young, but considered pretty mature for my age I guess. Even so, I really struggled with being so far away from home. Even more so, I struggled with the fact that I lived in Idaho and NEVER saw the sun. This Colorado/New Mexico girl was used to seeing the sun pretty much every day and to not see it for weeks, made me nuts.

At one point, my Dad and second mom were heading to the Northwest to see my Aunt and Uncle. On their way, they stopped and took me to breakfast. My dream was that event. It was Daddy talking to me and telling me that they would take me to breakfast the next morning. The dream continued to them stopping to pick me up on campus, taking me to the restaurant, the three of us eating, laughing, and talking together, taking me back to campus and giving me hugs good-bye. It is a precious memory and it was an amazing dream.

Somewhere in that story is a spiritual lesson.

Jesus came to a world that was hurting and lost — it was a world that was missing the Son. Jesus came to rescue those who had no options without His intervention. He came to be our Savior. His coming changed everything. Jesus came to us and met us where we are.

Jesus came to give us a meal, love us up, brush us off, and send us on our way to do the will of our Father.

Kind of like my Dad did when he stopped on campus and took me to breakfast. My Daddy came to me. He didn’t tell me come to him to get nourishment and encouragement and love. No, he came to me.

Jesus calls us to Himself and what we discover is that when we take one step toward Him, we find that He’s already closed the gap between us and He’s come to us. You see, that’s what Christmas is all about. It’s Jesus coming to us.

That makes all the difference.

He comes to us.

THINGS TO REMEMBER; STUFF TO NEVER FORGET

On By mdannels3In Silliness, Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about Love, Thinking about RelationshipsLeave a comment

Okay, I’ll admit it…. I’m old. I’m older than I wish I were, but with age comes wisdom — hopefully. The last six months have had a few highs and unfortunately, it feels as though they have had a lot of lows. But then, that’s the way that life goes, isn’t it? As we look back and then look ahead, we realize the value of things that we’ve experienced and things that we’ve learned. So today, maybe with a dash of sarcasm and a bit of seriousness, I am thinking of things that are important, things that matter, things that should be remembered. Hopefully these ideas will remind you of things that you need to remember and stuff you should never forget.

*****

Things to remember…

Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8.)

SEE people, no I mean really SEE them. Listen more; speak less. Hugs are good medicine. If someone comes to mind, pray for them first, then touch base with them. Chances are you will be a lifeline and you’ll never know that you were. Send the card, the email, the text. Make the phone call. Invest in people. Enter into their hurt and love them through it.

Save more; spend less. Whatever you do, begin with the end in mind. Live generously.

Don’t plug your nose when you sneeze, your brains will blow out your ears. 🙂

Music is good for the soul, the spirit, and the heart. Play it, sing, dance, listen… enjoy it!

Laugh. Laugh more. Then, laugh again. Smiles are free — share them often. Share whatever you can. Meet the needs of others whenever possible.

Be kind ALWAYS.

Pets make life easier in many ways. They make it harder in others.

Live a positive life: “Two men looked out through prison bars. One saw mud; one saw stars.” Look for the stars.

Take pictures — lots of them! Share them, enjoy them. Remember those treasured moments and when days are hard, look back at the pictures to celebrate the life that you’ve been blessed to live and the people who’ve shared your days.

LET PEOPLE TAKE YOUR PICTURE!! Seriously. Let them. And if you’re holding the camera, REMEMBER — that embarrassing picture you thought was so funny, probably isn’t. Be kind. Take more pictures than you think you need. Then there will always be at least one that you will love and the subject won’t be embarrassed by. One more thing, I know — I don’t always like having my picture taken, but I don’t want the only memory of me being that there were pictures taken so I must have been there holding the camera. Take the camera and make sure everyone is represented in the memories.

Cry. Grieve. Mourn.

DREAM BIG!!

Remember, we must have both sunshine and rain to make the rainbow. Hard times and good times work together to make a complete life. Without one, we will not appreciate the other. And when they come together — we learn, we feel, and we grow.

Try new things… learn to paint, to sing, to play an instrument, a new sport, or a new hobby. (No. I won’t be trying tuna.) Become a runner, a weight lifter, a biker. Become a foodie — practice your chef skills or enjoy being a taste tester for a friend who is practicing their chef skills. Whatever you try — add something new to your skill set and enjoy the process of learning. You’re never too old to learn or to try something new.

Stuff to never forget…

Jesus loves me, this I know.

You don’t need to know what other people think of you. Forgive early. Forgive often. Move on. Don’t live in pain and hurt.

How to drive a stick shift. If you didn’t learn — you can’t learn any younger so start today.

“You can’t go back and begin again; you can start from here to make a brand new end.” It’s never too late to start something new; never too late to begin again.

Trust your gut.

Other people’s choices belong to them. Their choices may hurt us, but they aren’t ours. We pray, we love, we support and we allow others to live their own lives. And sometimes yes, we watch, support, and love them as they face the consequences of the choices that they made.

There are seasons to our lives. There are seasons in families, in friendships, in careers, in education, in health. Navigate through these seasons with help from the Lord.

Life isn’t about the destination, it’s about the journey. Enjoy the journey.

Say what needs to be said. Say I’m sorry and tell special people that you love them. Make sure that when you lose someone there will be no regrets because you’ve said the important things.

Weigh your words. Weigh them again. Now, weigh them one more time then speak kindly, gently, and lovingly.

Treasure friends and family. Invest in them. Invest in the relationships.

Time is a treasure. Spend it wisely.

*****

So yeah. I think I could probably go on and on and on. I won’t though. I’ll let you think about and be annoyed by the things I’ve already shared. Smile. I hope that you laughed at least once or twice and I hope that like me, you’ve given thanks for people who’ve spent years teaching and investing in you. Hopefully, someday we’ll have some wisdom and we will actually put it into practice.

A Treasure of Moments

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about Love, Thinking about RelationshipsLeave a comment
If a horse or a mule wasn’t following him, then a kid was. This is my Daddy.

I’m a Daddy’s girl. Truth be told, I’m one of three Daddy’s girls.

Yes, I’m old and I still call him Daddy — as do my sisters. It has been four days since we lost our Daddy and to be honest, my mind is racing. Memories are coming in flashes — things I’d not thought of for years keep showing up in my thoughts. They are precious, some are personal, and sometimes they’re funny. As I’ve remembered, I’ve been organizing them in my mind, organizing them into categories and subcategories. And, I am thankful.

DADDY TRUSTED ME…

When I was seven, he sat me on his tractor, put it in low gear, and told me to take it to the corral. He said that when I got there, I should stand on the brake and that he’d be there to meet me. I did; he was.

The SkiDoo was another place he trusted me. He had me sit in front of him on the seat and told me to take him for a ride. I did — and I froze with my hand on the throttle. He had to knock my hand off and turn it at the last minute to keep us from crashing. Years later, he took my boys and I snowmobiling and laughed as I picked the fastest machine (I am a mechanic’s daughter, after all) to race my son. I still remember Daddy’s smile as he watched me beat Nate.

When I was 18, he handed me the keys to his big old Dodge pickup and sent me to Somerset for a load of coal. The last thing he told me was to remember that I needed to keep it at the speed limit.

Every time I needed to go somewhere, he would make sure I had a set of keys.

Because he trusted me, I learned to trust myself.

DADDY BELIEVED IN ME…

I needed a car when I attended college and Daddy got me a ’68 Rambler Rebel — I loved that car! Of course, old cars have problems and I would call him when ever one arose. At one point, he had me buy a tire patch kit and he reminded me that I knew how to read directions so I could most definitely patch the tire. Later, the muffler developed a hole that was loud enough to wake the neighbors. Daddy told me what to buy and, on the phone, walked me through me how to use a muffler bandage to make the repair. Do they even make those anymore?

Then, there was the day when I drove that car onto base where I lived with a military family working as their nanny. I was told to park the car until it was fixed and stopped blowing smoke. I called Daddy. He diagnosed the problem, sent me the part, and on the phone, talked me through how to replace the transmission’s vacuum modulator. He kept telling me I could do this and he was right.

Because he believed in me, I learned to believe in myself.

DADDY SUPPORTED ME…

School occasionally had special events for students, I could always find him in the crowd — even in the middle of the day.

Music was something I dearly loved and I wanted a piano. I thought it would never happen, but I went to camp one summer and came home to find a piano in the den.

He had six mouths to feed and he worked hard to do it. That often meant that he missed daytime recitals or little league games. But later, he was at my piano recital after I started taking lessons again as an adult. And he was always at our boys recitals. Even though he never attended any of my sporting events when I was in school, when I was a middle school volley ball coach, he and Momma would often come to watch my team play. He would meet my girls and watch me as I did my job.

Because he supported me, I came to understand that my efforts were worthwhile and they had value.

DADDY HELPED ME AND TAUGHT ME…

In third grade, I was Mary in the church Christmas play. I had options for my costume, but I wanted to wear Daddy’s navy blue printed robe and he said I could. He helped me have the perfect costume.

School children often make Valentine boxes for their school parties. In fourth grade, I decided to make a covered wagon for mine. I began working on it and Daddy made a few suggestions. Then he offered to help me and I was smart enough to let him. I had the coolest Valentine Box — it had a horse in front with heavy thread used to make a harness and reins, wheels that actually turned, a seat for a driver and so much more. It was perfect, I loved it and I was so proud of it.

Junior High brought Science Fairs. One year I wanted to make a circuit board and Daddy taught me to solder so I could make a GOOD circuit board that actually worked.

In 9th grade Speech, we were performing demonstration speeches. Everyone was demonstrating things that were quite normal — cooking, building, sewing… boring. I asked Daddy to teach me something about cars so I could demonstrate that. He taught me how to use a tachometer and how to gap a spark plug. He loaned me a tachometer, a feeler gauge, and some spark plugs with which to demonstrate. I got an A+ because I learned something new and because it was the first time any student, let alone a girl, had ever done anything about cars.

He taught all of us how fry eggs.

I attended high school in New Mexico. I had had my ’69 Toyota Corolla for 12 hours and was on my way to school when my neighbor ran into my car. I got his information, went home and immediately called my Dad. He calmed me down, reminded me that he was over 300 miles away and told me to call my mom.

Because he helped me in so many ways and taught me so many things, I came to understand that I could do what needed to be done and I could face any situation, even the hard ones.

DADDY TOOK CARE OF ME…

Daddy had a doctor’s appointment in Denver. He got me up really early, told me to get in his pick-up and he and I went to Denver. He took me to my first eye doctor appointment and then to the Denver Zoo while we waited for his Doctor’s appointment. We came back home the same day. A day I’ll always treasure.

In fifth grade I had my tonsils out and he was sitting by my hospital bed when I woke up.

In Junior High, I would occasionally get really bad headaches. One day, I had a terrible one and on his lunch break, he brought me some medicine for my head. A few weeks later, I got the flu. I went to school on Monday morning, and the school nurse took me home about 10. When Daddy came home at noon I was sound asleep. He made sure I had lunch everyday for the rest of that week as I recovered.

If I needed a vehicle, he always helped me get one.

When John and I were in college, we were working hard. One day, Daddy and Momma arrived with a chest freezer filled with elk and venison. During the next five years as we prepared for ministry, our freezer was never empty. We always had meat to feed our boys.

Because he took care of me, I learned to take care of myself and to take care of others.

DADDY LOVED ME…

As I was preparing to sit down for breakfast on my fourteenth birthday, Daddy came up beside me, gave me a hug, and told me that teen years could be hard but that he’d always be there for me. And he was as good as his word.

He loved our boys and he supported them by teaching them, helping them, attending concerts and football games, and just being their grandpa. In doing this, he showed me how much he loved me as well.

I never doubted his love.

Because he loved me, I learned how to love and support my own family.

____________________

I believe that God chose my Daddy for me and I am incredibly thankful. No one could have been better. Was he perfect? No and he would have admitted that. However, he was the perfect Dad for me.

The heritage that I have gained from him is deep and wide. It has touched every aspect of my life and I am richly blessed. I miss him. I will always miss him.

I love you, Daddy — I’ll see you again someday.

Lessons From the Dog

On By mdannels3In Silliness, Thinking about Love, Thinking about RelationshipsLeave a comment

I must confess, I have been harassing our dog.

It’s not like he doesn’t harass me back, but maybe I’m being a bit of a jerk to him. You see, our son lived here with us until just before Covid hit. That means that Yoda has been used to having people around him all day, most days. Lucky him.

(The back story to all of this is that Yoda has a collection of toys — a toy box full of fluffy, stuffed, noisy, squeaky, rolling, annoying toys. And yes, it’s partly my fault.)

When I was home for 2 1/2 months — only going out to go on a drive or to pick up groceries — I started a new little “game” in which I would grab everyone of his 15 million toys that he had strewn about the living room and would chuck them into the guest room. I was then guaranteed at least 20 minutes of time where he wouldn’t be begging me to throw something. Because of Yoda’s “No man left behind” mentality it was a successful ploy for months.

Then, he figured it out, not everything is worth carrying with you into the next room, the next space, the next year.

Yes, he always brings out his five — count them — five pigs, his two dragons, the squirrel tail, racoon, and lamb-i-kins that have no stuffing. They matter; they are important.

But he’s started leaving the fluffy yellow tail to the orangutan that got thrown away a year ago on the floor in the guest room. The mostly chewed to shreds blue softball is rarely carried out and the new looking, incredibly annoying chicken is only brought into the living room when I bring it. He’s learned the value of leaving some things behind — the things that have lost their value and the things that really just annoy him. He’s also learned that just because someone else finds value in something, it doesn’t mean that he needs to. (That stupid chicken cost more than it should have and he hates it!)

I’m trying to follow his lead.

Just because something once had a value and served a purpose doesn’t mean it always will. Even though something has a numeric value, doesn’t mean that it is something I should treasure.

Yoda’s pig family is a treasure to him. He knows the difference between the purple pig, yellow pig, big pink pig, baby pig, and small pink pig. Yes, I’ve been told that dogs don’t see in color — but somehow, he knows. His dragons are important too. The newest one is fairly large and when he carries it around, it’s tail and wings flop everywhere. But that new dragon and his old little one — they matter. For these seven toys, that “No man left behind” mentality applies. But for most of the other stuff…. he doesn’t care unless I care. Except for the chicken — he NEVER cares about it.

What I’ve learned from chucking toys into the spare room is that really, Yoda doesn’t care all that much what I throw. What he cares about is the time I spend with him.

Again, I’m trying to learn from my dog.

Recently he was sick. He ran a fever for a few days, was on antibiotics, and in general didn’t have any energy. He took a lot of naps while sitting by my side, and when he did, he would get his big dragon and hug it as he slept. When I looked at the floor beside the chair, he had carried most of the pigs to sit beside the chair. If he wasn’t going to leave them behind, he wanted to make sure they didn’t leave him behind either.

The stuff around me doesn’t all need my attention — the people in my world do. The people, those who God has placed in my world matter and they need to be treasured, valued, loved, and cared for — even when I may be struggling. I’ve learned that when I struggle, if I invest in others, my struggle is less because my focus is elsewhere.

In 2021, I’m leaving some stuff behind and I’m only taking the things that truly matter. But the people, I’m bringing them with me — encouraging them, spending time with them (virtually?), and investing in them.

They matter.

WOULD YOU RATHER?

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Love, Thinking about Relationships, Thinking about SchoolLeave a comment

IMG_20170607_143740174There is a popular game played by teachers and children these days. It’s called, “Would You Rather?” Would you rather is a goofy game that asks two questions where students have to choose between two endings… Some of those possible endings are horrible, nasty choices.

For example…  Would you rather lick a trashcan? Or lick a muddy boot? There can be less offensive questions such as, Would you rather be the funniest person alive or be the smartest person alive? And, there are experience questions such as, Would you rather be able to fly or would you rather be invisible?

So, for a couple of minutes, let’s play a game of Would You Rather?

Would you rather stay home for a few weeks? Or, would you rather share an unseen illness with someone you don’t know who has a severe health condition?

Or this one, Would you rather be inconvenienced and possibly save lives, whether the inconvenience is necessary or not? Or, would you rather see thousands die because we believed it wasn’t necessary, but really it was?

Friends, I am not here to argue the necessity of this shutdown, this Safer at Home order. I’m not here to talk about a loss of civil liberty. And, I’m not here to complain that there have been more deaths caused by illnesses or choices other than COVID 19.

Instead, I am here today to think for a few minutes about love. Usually, we talk and think about love around Valentines, but it seems to me that this is the time to actually think about, talk about, teach about, and actually practice loving one another.

I want to start by thinking about how God’s word defines love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8a:  “4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.”

So many of these phrases apply to this time that we are in. This time of inconvenience, loneliness, uncertainty, and discontent are times that require us to be patient and kind. Our patience is needed as we deal with Safer at Home. We are doing a kindness to our neighbor when we stay at home, wear a mask, and practice social distancing. Our actions honor others when we follow the guidelines set out by the experts in our land. We act selflessly when we choose to stay at home and not cause others to become ill.

Did you notice that one phrase that says, it always protects? That’s what we are doing as we follow these difficult orders, we are protecting others. In fact, as we exhibit patience, show kindness, honor others by our actions, act selflessly, and protect others, we are in fact, showing them our love. Our actions are showing the love of Jesus, the love of God to our neighbors.

Galations 6:2 tells us to, “Bear on another’s burdens.” Could it be that as we stay in our homes, wear our masks, stay six feet away from each other, avoid going places…. Could it be that we are bearing the burdens of those around us?

I have a friend who has two sons. One of her boys has a disease that greatly impacts his health. They have isolated themselves in their home, on drives, or on nature trails since the beginning of this pandemic. Her concern is not what they are doing, her concern is that every time she goes out of her home to pick up groceries, to run to the pharmacy, even to pick up some thing where she is barely out of her car,  she could be exposed to something that someone doesn’t even know they are carrying – something that seems to not effect many people – but something that could cause her son to become critically ill, and perhaps, to cause her son to lose his life.

When we do what we are asked, we are helping to bear her burden and the burden that her family bears whenever they have to go out into this world. But is’s not just her and her family — there are many others whose lives we are impacting as well.

My friends, I have to tell you, I want to go to a restaurant, have someone bring me a delicious glass of flavored ice tea, some chips and salsa, and eventually – after I’ve enjoyed some quiet conversation – bring me sizzling platter of chicken fajitas. And I will do this, as soon as I am told it is safe.

This experience has shown me that one of my pass times is window shopping – not buying, but simply walking up and down the aisles of stores and looking. When my favorite stores open, I’ll be there — looking and probably spending a little bit too.

I understand that as a teacher, I love spending time with 26 small people five days a week and I miss them. I miss their stories, watching the light bulbs that come on as they have finally understood that difficult concept I’ve spent hours teaching, listening to them giggle, and asking them to be quiet for the 75th time that day. I miss THEM. Meeting with them in video conferences just isn’t the same. Sadly, I won’t be back with them in person this year — but next year, I will see most of them and I will be amazed at how they have grown and changed.

Honestly, I cannot wait for the freedom of movement that will eventually come to us.

But for right now, I have to ask myself a couple of questions…

Would I rather have my own way? Or, Would I rather help my neighbor?

 

 

 

 

Sometimes Christmas is Hard

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about LoveLeave a comment

There is no other way to say it, sometimes Christmas is hard.

Sometimes… well, some years it’s hard to get into the Christmas spirit. It’s hard to get the decorations up — so I just skip some of them. Or, I just feel… lonely… maybe empty is a better word.

It’s not because I don’t want to celebrate — I do. I love Christmas. Maybe its because of stress or pressure or expectations or just a general sense of “flat” emotions. I don’t know how to explain it.

I don’t think I’m alone this year.

I’ve seen notes by others, and heard from friends, that they are have struggled to get into the Christmas spirit — just like me. And, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for them, for their families, and for those who are around me during this season.

My husband and I just watched CHRISTMAS WITH THE KRANKS, and I promise you, we were not trying to skip Christmas.

In fact, I’ll be very honest and tell you that we had a wonderful Christmas. We shared a Christmas Eve meal together yesterday with our kids and later, we opened our stockings. Today, we pitched in and between John, Ben, Emily, and I we prepared a delicious meal that the five of us inhaled. As the meat was cooking, we opened wonderful gifts — things that we wanted or needed, or both. Some of them were sweet surprises and since some of them had been requested they were an assurance that someone was listening and that what we said mattered.

But Christmas can still be hard, can’t it?

There are loved ones who could not join us because of distance — or loved ones we could not join because of distance. There are loved ones with whom we will never celebrate again — and they are missed immensely.

It’s hard to act the part, to act like we are excited and eager, when really we are tired. It’s hard to talk yourself into having Christmas cheer when that may be the last thing you want to do.

I’m not complaining… I’m not. It’s just been a hard year to get into the spirit of the season.

Even so, I’ve celebrated. In my heart, in my soul, and in my spirit.

It’s true, for even though I am tired and not feeling “Christmassy,” Jesus is real. This day isn’t about me and my feelings, it’s about Jesus — and He is here. He is real. He is not a memory, nor is He a myth. (Thank you for that reminder Nicole Nordeman! Take a minute and look up her song, “Real” on YouTube. You will be blessed!) He is real and He is here with me, just as He has been all season.

When Christmas is hard — it’s okay. Jesus is still real and He is still the reason that we decorate, give gifts, and celebrate His birth. He makes the hard times easier to bear.

Yes, sometimes Christmas is hard.

But, Jesus is always real.

Merry Christmas, my friends!

The Grandest of Gestures

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We have all seen them or heard about them. Those grand gestures that people make.

Several years ago John and I were invited to sing at a church Valentine’s Day Banquet. At one point in the evening, couples were instructed to share their engagement story. We were at the table with the couple who invited us to be the special musicians for the evening. As they shared their story, we sat in amazement. This guy that we knew as a mechanic was a closet romantic. He had mastered the grand gesture and used it to his advantage when he proposed to his wife.

Last night, Christmas Eve, John mastered the grand gesture. This year has been an difficult time for me and this Christmas season has been particularly challenging. I’ve been emotional and have really struggled. Although I have some ideas, I am uncertain as to exactly why. Well, my husband has watched me, cared for me, and seen the challenges I’ve faced. To make my day bright, he created a wonderland in our yard. He recreated a vision from my childhood and from the early days of our marriage in New Mexico. He collected LED candles, kitty litter, and brown paper bags. Then he made, nearly fifty luminarias and placed them on the sidewalk in front of our house leading up to the front door of the church and the front door of our house. In New Mexico, these are a traditional Christmas decoration. They are intended to lead the Christ child to a place of safety and shelter. Luminarias are elegant in their simplicity and beauty. He made me cry.

It was truly a grand gesture, a gift, a treasure — and it was beautifully done.

Christmas is a time for grand gestures. And, to be honest, it started by the grandest of gestures, but sadly it has been missed by many.

The grandest gesture was modeled for us by God who sent His Son to be born in a borrowed space, wrapped in strips of cloth, and lain in a feeding trough. This child was Jesus. He was born of a young virgin and an earthly “father” who loved and raised him to be a man.

As a mother, my mind’s eye takes over when I think of Jesus as a toddler. I can imagine Him playing in the sawdust at His father’s feet, playing with wood scraps and old tools for toys. I can picture Him imitating His daddy. Somewhere in my mind there is a vision of Jesus picking the “flowering weeds” and taking them to Mary to make her day brighter. Later, I can imagine Him working with His father learning the carpentry trade as a teenager. I have no difficulty picturing Jesus as an adult playing with the children who were drawn to Him, to His gentleness, and to His kindness.

This the grandest of gestures that God sent changed the world. Jesus came to bring light to a dark world and to help us find our place with His Father. He came to show us the way to know His Heavenly Father.

He came as a gift.

In coming, He gives the greatest gift.

A grand gesture? We’ve all been the recipient of one. In fact, we’ve been the recipient of the grandest of gestures.  Jesus has come for all of us — for you and for me. Have you accepted His gift? Have you accepted Jesus?

Is Jesus welcome where you are?

To Love and to Cherish

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about Love, UncategorizedLeave a comment

He was tall, had red hair and a beard. His car was fast… and cool. (I liked sports cars.) He was shy and cute, really cute.

I was interested; he wasn’t.

Oh well.

And so I waited, seven months I waited. Finally, he called. We went on our first date: dinner out and going home to play UNO with my mom afterward. Six weeks later he asked me to be his wife; I was smart enough to say yes.

Six months later, we were married in the same Church building that Grandfather helped drag into town from the canyon east of town to help plant a new church that he and my Grandmother attended; the same church building where my parents were married. The history and tie to the past that that place gave to us as we began our life together was special for me, and he understood.

Since that time, we’ve had good times and hard times. I find it difficult to say that we’ve had bad times because honestly, there have been hard days and tough times, but I can’t say that they were bad times. Difficulties, challenges and struggles have caused us to cling more tightly to each other. They have allowed us to know each other better, to see each other’s strengths and to be strong where the other wasn’t as strong. Those hard times have helped us to lean more fully on our Heavenly Father as we’ve leaned on each other.

How can you say those are bad times?

In thirty-two years we have welcomed three sons, lost a daughter, and welcomed another daughter, our daughter-in-love. We’ve traveled a great deal within the U.S., dragging our sons through museums, onto beaches, to the rim of canyons, and other tourist sights. Summers brought hikes, picnics, “drives” – including an annual color drive in the fall, and swimming in hotel pools. Our family has played football in parks, school yards, and our own backyard. Barbecuing became a favored routine. Cracker Barrel, our favorite restaurant, became a vacation destination, and Italian food is our special Christmas Eve dinner.

For more than three decades, we’ve made new memories and shared amazing moments. In fact, this week we will be married for 32 years.

THIRTY-TWO YEARS…

I could tell you how amazing he is – and he is. I could brag on him and tell you how hard he works in the church and on his secular job, because he does. Without feeling badly, I could tell you that he’s a great father and example for our sons and it would be completely true.

But more than anything, I want to tell you that he loves me and I love him.

During our years together, we’ve watched many marriages. Through observation and a “few” years of on the job training, I’ve come to some conclusions about marriage.

Marriage isn’t a 50 / 50 proposition, it’s a 100% /100% deal. You both have to be all in, 100% committed to the relationship and the success of the marriage. Without that commitment it will be a struggle, at best and chances are, the marriage will fail.

Relationships are tolerant. They require that together we survive the hard days, and we celebrate together on the good ones. It means that there are times when one will be stronger than the other, that one will be exhausted and the other will be energetic, that one will be healthy and one will not. A time will come, if it hasn’t already, when you will disagree. Eventually, one or both of you will lose a family member and you will be the one who loves them and gives them a safe place to grieve.

Illnesses will come. Kids might, too. Both of these bring new stresses that, if you are not totally committed to each other, can become barriers and create areas of conflict. And then there’s money. Anyone who thinks that money isn’t an issue in marriage is sadly mistaken. There’s either too much – or not enough, and either way, if you don’t talk about it and work together, it will be point of stress.

Respect is a key ingredient in a successful marriage. It’s important that you both respect each other. When you pledge your lives to each other, you become partners. Respecting your partner is a key to any successful partnership. You need to respect the gifts and strengths that he or she brings to the partnership. Respecting your partner’s opinion and ideas reassures them that you value them. Honest, quality communication is another way to show your respect. Listen and listen some more. Then, listen again.

Please allow me to give you some very practical advice: hold hands often, smile at each other, search each other out in a crowd, compliment your beloved, wink at that one who stole your heart, dress up for one another – even if you’re just getting pizza, date each other, leave notes for one another, and when you can afford it, travel together – even if it’s just down the street for the night. Finally, hug each other and say, “I love you,” every day.

For us, when he asked me to marry him, I asked him if he would still hold my hand when we’d been married thirty years… or fifty… or more…

So far so good…

Counting Stars

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about God, Thinking about Love, Thinking about Relationships, Thinking about SchoolLeave a comment

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“When I consider the heavens…the moon and the stars which You created, What is man that you are mindful of him?” Psalm 8, adapted.

2016 has come and gone. For some, it seems to have been a year of nothing but loss, grief, and pain. For others, a year of change. Still others have celebrated great successes and joys. But most of us have lived through a normal year where both good and bad things have happened in our lives and in the world around us.

My mom was a single mom starting the summer between my fourth and fifth grade years. She taught me a lot of things by simply living her life – she walked her talk and if it is true that character is “caught” as much as it’s taught, I hope that I caught the character with which she lived her life. The things that she taught me can be boiled down to specific sayings that have not only colored my world, but have helped me to become who I am. Among those sayings, there is one that seems to apply to looking back at the old year: “Two men looked out through prison bars. One saw mud; the other saw stars.”

Come along with me as I look for the stars in the past year – and then, maybe, spend some time looking for your own stars.

The year began at home with three of my men – I am so blessed to have a husband who loves me and helps to make an amazing home. Two of our boys, Phil and Ben are with us, and while living with adult sons is sometimes a challenge, it is also something that makes our days brighter and fills them with laughter and conversation.

Nate and Maira traveled out to join us for a week. Wisconsin followed it’s traditional winter pattern and was very cold while they were here, but our hearts were warmed by their presence and our time together. We spent a couple of days with them down in Iowa with family. The memories we have of that time are precious ones.

While teaching in Durand, I enjoyed sunrises and sunsets on my journey to and from work. I experienced safety on the roads and a mechanically sound vehicle with no flat tires. During those nine months, amazing fifth graders – eighty of them – made me laugh and think. They made my days hard sometimes, but most of the time, they made each day fun and better than the day before. The cherry on the top was reading them four historical fiction novels and having them fall in love with classic literature. Of course, there was that one day (maybe it was three or four days, actually), when a secretary gave me a long john with Persian Roll frosting. (My sisters will understand the significance of this delightful event.)

In April, we celebrated the fact that we have had an amazing daughter for four years as Maira and Nate celebrated their fourth anniversary. We love them, miss them, and we are proud of them.

Leading Craft and Chat mornings for the ladies at our church… So yeah, some days they love me – some days they may not, at least not as much… Giggle.

Saying good-bye to my students in May was, as usual, difficult. It was compounded by the fact that shortly after the end of the school year, the decision was made for me to look for a job closer to home. I’m so thankful that many of those students have chosen to say in touch with me on Insta-Gram.

Two weeks spent in Colorado and New Mexico. Time with my dad and second mom, my mom, son, daughter, sister, brother-in-law, nieces and nephews, grand dog Max, Zoey, friends, Scrabble games, the mountains, the desert – time of blessing, joy, and rest. The one down side was not having Mr. Gorgeous there with me.

Being hired to work at Meadowview Elementary as a member of the fourth grade team. It’s an amazing school with an incredible, caring, and learning staff.

Taking Dilly Bars to the firemen and policemen in our town on the 4th of July as a gift from our Church.

Starting school with fourth graders who make me laugh and smile every day.

Having an amazing eye surgeon who wasted no time getting surgery scheduled and saving the vision in my right eye. So incredibly thankful.

A presidential election that – no matter how it turned out – reminds us that we live in a nation where we get to participate in our government, where certain rights are given to us, and where we can say what we want about the political process – even when we should maybe keep our mouths shut.

Thanksgiving – so much for which to be thankful. Celebrating first at school, then at Church and finally at home.

Cold, cold, cold days with wind chill in frigid ranges that remind me to be thankful for warmer days.

A Christmas celebration where I was once again reminded of the hope that we have due to the birth of a tiny baby who didn’t even own a crib, but who laid in a hay trough.

My – how many stars I have for counting.

How about you?