Tag: #changes

A Tale of the Scale

On By mdannels3In Thinking about Family, Thinking about GodLeave a comment

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I am a lot like many women. I have a love / hate relationship with my bathroom scale.

Last summer, I made a decision. It was different than similar decisions I have made in the past. You see, I decided to work on losing weight. But honestly, it was more than just weight loss. It was about my health and enjoying life in the future. It was about future walks on many beaches with Mr. Gorgeous. It was about knowing that my body is the temple of God, and as such, it should be cared for. It was about knowing that I had failed in so many ways to take care of the body that God created and He was calling me to be a more faithful caretaker.

It was about the scales, yes.

But, really, it wasn’t.

It was about so much more. Even so, the scales and I are sometimes friends – finally. While I still have weight to lose, I’ve lost 30 pounds. It has taken nearly a year, but it has been a good year. A year of learning why I eat when I’m not hungry. Understanding the true caloric value of what I unconsciously stuffed into my face. Knowing that every bite – EVERY BITE – adds to my calorie count for the day. Knowing the truth about portion control. It was a year of discipline.

I made some decisions at the very beginning of this process…

I decided that this was the last time I would lose weight. In other words, I will NOT gain it all back again. I chose to lose weight slowly – on purpose. You see, I’ve done the fancy programs where you pay a fortune and lose weight crazy fast. Unfortunately, I never really learned or understood how to keep the weight off. I chose to do the old-fashioned calorie counting and I decided to use phone apps to help me do so. I was and remain determined to change my life for the better – and to do so permanently, with God’s help.

So… I bought a new set of scales, digital, battery operated scales. This morning though, they were NOT my friend. Yesterday was a stressful day and for the first time in a LONG time, I knowingly went over my calorie limit. Yes, I do that occasionally – not often. Then, this morning I got on the scales and my weight was up nearly 5 lbs. Five pounds? Are you kidding me? So, I got off the scale. I got back on while muttering threats to that hunk of electronic junk. It was worse. My weight was up another pound or pound and a half from the original five. Seriously? I didn’t know whether I should cry or I should scream. So, I stepped off again and watched as the scale flashed the little message that said it was calibrating. I started to breath again. When it had run its correction program, I stepped back on and found that I had gained, but I only gained about a ¼ of a pound. Much better.

Isn’t that the way life is? Sometimes we get news – good or bad, and we credit or we blame the news on the messenger. Is it because of their proximity? Or is it because we are embarrassed to take the credit for a job well done? Or, could it be because it’s easier than taking the blame for ourselves?

I was raised by humble parents. All three of them – Mom, Dad, and 2nd Mom – are people who have accomplished many things, but they are not boastful. Their humility is honest and genuine. I think that sometimes, I am reluctant to say when I have done well because I want to be like them. But, I also know that they had great successes, and I am reluctant to admit failure – again, because I want to be like them.

As I stood on the scale this morning, I was determined to slash my calorie intake to minimal amounts if I really had gained five pounds over night. I refuse to allow one small failure to be my defeat. Yes, my weight goes up and down and it makes me crazy, but that small box will not control my days.

So… the scale and I are sort of friends today – after it got its attitude in line this morning, anyway. Tomorrow? Who knows? What I do know is that this is a journey – a marathon, if you will. I am moving forward step by step, meal by meal, snack by snack, day by day. I’m not yet where I want to be, but I’ve made progress.

I am learning so much more than a healthier lifestyle. I am learning to act mindfully – not aimlessly. I am learning to live with intention – to make choices that matter and decisions that benefit me in the long run. And, I am learning to trust the process. The process is changing my attitude, my behavior, and my body. Best of all, I’m learning to lean on God and to trust Him to help me when I really want a cherry shake instead of a glass of water.

And… I’ve learned to trust the scales…

Sometimes.

Changes

On By mdannels3In Thinking about God, Thinking about Relationships2 Comments
Our Church -- the place where we have ministered for more than a decade.
Our Church — the place where we have ministered for more than a decade.

Changes . . .

…are hard.

…are good.

…are necessary.

…are here.

Twelve and a half years ago, we packed our family and all of our belongings then we moved to Colorado to begin ministry at a small church in a beautiful town near the bottom of the World’s Largest Flattop Mountain, The Grand Mesa.

When we arrived, our boys were in third, seventh, and eighth grades. We were young…sort of. Our church was small, but loving. We moved in on a snowy December Friday and began our ministry two days later. In January, John started a job and in April, he found a better one — one that he worked for nearly twelve years. Marylouise took over a multi-grade classroom at a private school and later, found a job with the local school district.

We settled into routines and the boys made friends. My Dad and second mom live 40 miles away and my sister is about 18 miles from our home and we enjoyed being near family. We created a home and we built a life.

The church we came to pastor had five retired pastors as a part of the congregation. Let’s just say that our church was filled with several “experienced” Christians. We loved them and they learned to love us. The ministry in the church was not easy, but it was blessed and the people were precious children of God.

Time passed.

The boys grew, our vocations changed — but still they allowed us to minister, people moved, our congregation changed.

During the twelve and a half years we’ve spent here in Colorado, we’ve raised our children, loved people, worked hard, and served the Lord. We pray that we’ve touched lives as others have touched ours. We’ve built a life in this place and leaving this life we’ve come to love is hard. But it is time.

It is difficult to help others understand that when God says it is time to move on that that is what you must do. We live our lives based on one premise… obedience to God’s call is nonnegotiable. Walking in faith is part of that choice, even when it doesn’t seem to make sense.

You see, we have a good “life” here. John was just promoted. I teach in a good school. Logically, this is the place where we should remain, yet we cannot stay.

Leaving means we are both walking away from jobs we enjoy. It means that our small church will be without a pastor for a time and we are sad for that reality. We will be leaving a church family with whom we have ministered, prayed, cried, celebrated, mourned, and who we love. Leaving will cause us to be without our children near us for the first time in twenty-seven years. Not being in this community means that we will not get to see our dear friends. While moving will bring us closer in proximity to John’s family, it will move us away from my parents and sister. Even so, I am assured that as we leave this place, He has a plan for those who remain and He will reveal it to them just as He revealed His plan for our lives to us.

Were we to make a list of the “pros and cons” for moving away, it would be close, but one factor has more weight than any of the others. Very simply, God is leading and we must go.

Will we have regrets? Perhaps. But we will never regret going where God is calling. Early in our marriage we learned that the best place to be is always in the middle of God’s will. For that reason alone, we are moving to Wisconsin.

Our new church family has been hurt and it needs pastors who will love each of them. We will love them — we already do.

So, we will be saying good-bye to family, friends, and even to one of our dogs, Zoey, who will remain in Colorado. We will buy parkas, snow boots, and snow tires; we will build a new life in the northern mid-west.

Changes are hard and scary, but they can be good. This will not be easy, but God has promised that His calling is His enabling. We believe Him and we trust Him.